The Strangest Disney Stories of 2023

If you felt like Disney went to plaid in 2023, I’ve got good news, and I’ve got bad news. Also, it’s the same news.

Yes, Disney took a turn for the utterly unexplainable this year. In fact, in the seven years I’ve written this article, I’ve never had more potential nominees than in 2023.

Buckle up your seatbelts, folks. It’s about to get bumpy as we discuss the Strangest Disney Stories of 2023.

What’s a Little Ride Safety among Friends?

TikTok fads are a thing. We all know it and even love that about the service…for the most part.

Sometimes, something goes viral that’s borderline inexplicable, though. And that’s what happened during the first quarter of 2023.

For no apparent reason, someone thought it’d be hysterical if they could trick unsuspecting suckers into taking their own lives into their hands on a Disney ride.

A TikTok suggested that people would enjoy Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission: BREAKOUT! a bit more if they – I kid you not – unbuckled their lap belts.

Do you know what Disney Imagineers spend countless hours doing? They calculate the best ways to ensure guest safety.

I’m not saying what happened next was lemming behavior, but that’s only because – fun Disney fact – Walt Disney himself is responsible for the misconception that lemmings follow one another to their doom.

Still, this was what society (incorrectly) calls lemming behavior. Some guests started waiting until the cast members checked their lap belts and exited the room.

Then, they unhooked the restraints and thereby placed their lives in their own hands by going commando on a freefall ride.

2023 has been that kind of year.

I Mean, It Was a Nice Shirt

We don’t get many chances to participate in Disney firsts these days.

The parks have operated seamlessly for decades now. So, most of what we experience has already been said and done many times.

So, the attendants on the first evening of Disney Jollywood Nights were particularly excited about what they were about to behold.

Disney rightfully hyped the experience as an unprecedented event…and it is! I’ve had friends and family members rave about it.

That’s not really what happened during the first Jollywood Nights event, though. Let’s just say that Disney had some opening night jitters and hadn’t fully considered certain aspects of the event.

Bottlenecks occurred at multiple spots in Disney’s Hollywood Studios, sometimes making the lines at the bar the longest in the park.

Meanwhile, guests rushed to the merchandise stores to see what treasures awaited them.

You could hear the outcry from miles away as excited fans learned that Disney was selling exactly one shirt.

Yes, for $29.99, you could buy a single piece of Jollywood Nights merch. That was it. That was the list of Jollywood Nights gear available for sale on the first night.

Bob “Eiger” and the Disney+ App That Vanished

Many of this year’s strangest stories were, well, stupid. Indefensibly, absurdly stupid.

This entry definitely falls into that bucket as a sudden feud erupted.

Even weirder, one of the participants honestly didn’t know they were feuding with the other.

As we’ll discuss, some outsiders have pulled an unwilling Disney into the culture wars again, just as happened during the mid-90s.

The difference this time is that we have social media, and one of the people who owns a social media site is more petulant than Veruca Salt.

Recently, IBM chose to pause its advertising on Twitter due to some of its ad-based Tweets coinciding with hate speech posts.

IBM would say, “Hey, our products are great!” Then, the line below that ad would say things that rightfully have been deemed offensive in polite society since we won a war in the 1940s.

Rather than take accountability for the mistake, the owner of the site blamed one of the other corporations that paused its advertising.

That company was Disney, and Elon Musk singled out its CEO, “Bob Eiger.” This seems like a good time to mention that random drug testing at Twitter wouldn’t be a bad idea.

Anyway, for his part, Bob Iger had politely stated that he respected Musk’s business achievements and bore him no ill will.

After Iger said that, Musk went on the offensive and engaged in a smear campaign against the Disney executive.

Somehow, that’s not even the most vindictive part of the one-sided feud.

In a final bitter act by a neutered would-be tyrant, Tesla removed the Disney+ app from its vehicles. This is a real thing that happened.

Man Jumps in Lake for Money

Out of everything we’ll discuss today, this topic at least makes the most sense in that it’s a justifiable action once you know the full details.

A man jumped into World Showcase Lagoon in October. His sole purpose in doing so was to win a bet.

I probably don’t need to tell you that Disney takes such actions personally. There are rules and restrictions in place to discourage such unwelcome activity.

When Disney notices a guest behaving inappropriately, the standard practice involves a kind of perp walk to Disney Jail, wherein a person learns they are kicked out of the park.

Generally, Disney accompanies this practice with a ban that could last a year or a lifetime, depending on how egregious the action is.

So, to win this bet, this person risked something that would cause you or me to say no.

Their “reward” for winning the bet would involve a visit from Disney’s security team and probably an Orange County police officer.

But this person happened to win a second reward, a more legitimate one. Reportedly, the jumper earned $60,000 in exchange for the perp work and the Disney ban.

We aren’t talking about the loser of the bet buying the winner a round of drinks. No, there were real stakes here, which makes this particular story at least seem reasonable.

The Other Disney Prison Story

Disney spent a good portion of the year feuding with the state that it has almost single-handedly elevated from cheap swampland into a popular tourist destination.

In 2022, the governor of Florida recognized a political opportunity and picked a fight with then-CEO Bob Chapek, thinking he could push around the wishy-washy executive.

Then, Bob Iger returned to Disney, and the situation took a turn. Iger outflanked DeSantis in an absolutely savage move that utterly humiliated the governor.

Alas, DeSantis was trying to leverage the Disney attack into a presidential campaign. So, when the situation took a turn, the unprepared governor couldn’t let things stand.

Instead, DeSantis doubled down by changing the laws in Florida for the sole purpose of eliminating Disney’s control over the former Reedy Creek Improvement District.

The whole situation will be settled in court over the next few years, but it was the immediate reaction that proved so surreal.

The flabbergasted DeSantis held a press conference wherein he swore multiple impending acts of revenge against Disney.

Perhaps the oddest one remains in place to this day. The governmental official ostensibly in charge of Disney theme park oversight is an egg farmer with zero theme park experience.

Once again, that’s a real thing that happened, which explains why every hair on my body is gray now. 2023 has aged me mercilessly.

Still, the even stranger part was when the rambling, somewhat dazed DeSantis proceeded to mention other indignities he could thrust upon Disney, including the addition of a prison in the area.

Yes, the elected governor of Florida just threatened his high tax-paying Central Florida residents with a prison in the area where they own super-expensive real estate, all because he lost a fight to a cartoon mouse.

Disney Has a Rat Problem

Speaking of rodents, life imitated art at Disney headquarters…well, kind of.

One of the most ridiculous stories of the year was also the most predictable one.

A few years ago, Disney entered into an agreement to build a new headquarters in New York.

So, Disney sold its existing headquarters and then proceeded to lease the space until it could move into the new facilities.

As is true of so many recent Disney stories, the pandemic upset those plans and forced construction delays.

Currently, the prior Disney headquarters is owned by a company that will demolish the building as soon as its current tenant leaves. As such, they have no incentive to maintain the building.

Their casual indifference has led to some uncomfortable working conditions for a few current Disney employees.

In a “you can’t make this up” story for the ages, Disney headquarters found itself so overrun by rodents that the workers complained. Oh, and there were flea infestations, too.

I don’t mean to be cynical, but in the wake of the year we’ve had, I wouldn’t be surprised if we later learned that DeSantis and Musk conspired to infest Disney HQ with rats and fleas.

The Bear in the Kingdom

Obviously, if you’ve been paying attention, you already know what the strangest story of the year has been.

Given how prolific I am as a writer, you can probably guess I don’t take many days off.

However, I let everyone know that I wouldn’t be checking in on my birthday because my wife had made plans for us.

You can imagine my surprise when my non-Disney friends started texting to ask for a detailed account of what was happening at Magic Kingdom.

This story had already gone viral before I’d even checked my phone for the day…and we all know why.

During a random pre-park opening drill, some cast members noticed an unwelcome guest at the park. No, it wasn’t a vacationer who snuck in a little early, possibly to win a $60,000 bet.

Instead, this was a bear. A real, live bear and not the hugging kind you’d find at Hundred Acre Wood.

Thankfully, the bear also wasn’t the kind you’d find in the movie Cocaine Bear. It was just a normal mama bear foraging for food before hibernating for the winter.

The problem is that tens of thousands of guests visit Magic Kingdom each day. It’s not really the place where you want to test a bear’s tolerance for strangers.

That’s how nature films start…and also the movie Cocaine Bear.

So, cast members faced the unenviable task of calmly reporting the bear’s movement — presumably from a VERY safe distance — and then waiting for the authorities to arrive.

Meanwhile, the park opened, and guests quickly noticed that several themed lands remained closed. They loudly wondered what was happening.

Some loose-lipped cast members let them know that a country bear had rebelled against its jamboree.

A panic ensued and, more importantly, people flocked to social media to post absolutely hysterical memes.

Thankfully, the entire situation ended quite peacefully, with wildlife officials releasing the bear back to nature.

Nobody was hurt, including the bear, and the story was funny more than scary at any point. And the moral for me is that I can never take a day off without havok ensuing.

Just look at this laundry list of Disney chaos grenades that dropped in 2023. 2024 has to be better, right? RIGHT?!

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Feature Photo: Disney