What Are the Most Likely Criticisms of Disney Park Expansion?
Disney fans complain a lot.
I don’t need to tell you that, especially not if you’ve ever made the mistake of reading the comments pretty much anywhere.
Rides are too fast or too slow, too long or too short, and too wet or not wet enough.
Every sentient being on the planet knows that you cannot please everyone all the time, yet many feign outrage over this stuff.
So, with Disney ramping up its expansion plans, I thought it’d be fun to predict the future.
Here are the most likely criticisms of Disney park expansion.
Disney Canceled That Attraction
Let’s start with the two most obvious ones, each of which I’m guilty of doing.
Since work typically leaks regarding impending projects, we know about Disney’s plans well ahead of time.
In some instances, an idea proves impractical for any number of reasons.
As an example, former CEO Bob Chapek wanted to do a Mary Poppins Returns themed flat ride because he loves Mary Poppins.
Seriously, when you visit Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort & Spa, you cannot help but notice the newly added Poppins themes.
Most of them came from Chapek’s edicts from when he was the Chairman of the Parks division and, later, CEO.
Alas, Mary Poppins Returns proved to be an inconsequential box office performer, earning money but not excelling.
When the pandemic occurred, Disney recognized that it shouldn’t spend money on a flat ride themed to a film with a lukewarm reception.
Then, we have the infamous Bantha ride at Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge.
Imagineers clearly loved the concept, but I feel they missed the forest for the trees on this one.
The impracticality of the concept is readily apparent, and that’s before we wonder, “Where would Disney have put that?!”
Some ideas never make it off the drawing board…and for good reason.
I mean, that Wreck-It Ralph-based replacement to Stitch’s Great Escape was rumored for like eight years.
Finally, everyone realized, “Wait, would we even want that?”
Disney anticipates those thoughts years before they even pop into most people’s minds.
Disney Cut the Budget
Do you remember that rumored third attraction at Avengers Campus?
That Quinjet weenie at the park hinted at an entire experience.
Five years ago, Imagineers openly conversed with guests regarding the Quinjet E-ticket ride coming to the Avengers Campus.
This attraction’s premise would have had the rider break off from the Avengers, fly the Quinjet, and start their own superhero origin story.
These conversations regarding the idea occurred during the 2019 D23 Expo, and we all know what happened a few months later.
The pandemic shuttered Disneyland Resort and killed the possibility of this attraction.
While Disneyland officials wanted for the okay to reopen, Imagineers completed the Quinjet.
However, their budget shrank to the point that the accompanying attraction was no longer feasible.
Similarly, the Bantha ride at Galaxy’s Edge fell victim to budget cuts, too, although it wasn’t feasible for other reasons as well.
Such cuts don’t simply apply to the attractions, either.
Perhaps the best proof of this fact involves Toy Story Land at Disney’s Hollywood Studios.
With park officials building two themed lands simultaneously, the budget was spread thin.
So, Disney cut corners on something else, and longtime fans remember it well.
Disney skipped the shade at Toy Story Land, which led to many uncomfortable tourists when the place opened.
Before Disney added the shading you’ll find today, Toy Story Land doubled as an outdoor tanning salon.
There was simply no escaping the sun while standing in line for Slinky Dog Dash or Alien Swirling Saucers.
I remember needing to wear my sunglasses at Woody’s Lunch Box, too.
Not Enough Thrill Rides
The next two critiques go hand-in-hand.
No matter how many thrill rides Disney offers, fans never think it’s enough.
When Galaxy’s Edge opened, Disney presented tourists with a state-of-the-art attraction and an improvement on the Star Tours concept.
Both thrill rides delighted guests, yet we heard several comments along the lines of, “I’m disappointed and had hoped for more.”
Disney built a billion-dollar masterpiece with Star Wars Land, but I still hear fans complain about it.
No matter what Disney does, it’s never enough for some. That’s particularly true of thrill rides, which is ridiculous.
At its core, Disney was designed as a family-friendly theme park where all are welcome.
Thrill rides immediately rule out a sizable percentage of the population.
Despite this fact, Disney has boldly forged forward with attractions like Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind and Tron Lightcycle / Run.
I would expect at least two new thrill rides coming to Walt Disney World and one or two more at Disneyland Resort.
For some, that amount won’t be enough. In fact, if Disney promised five thrill rides per park, even THAT wouldn’t be enough.
That Attraction Is Cheap and Dull
I call this the Alien Swirling Saucers complaint, and it drives me batty.
Folks, no matter what Disney’s budget is, it won’t build every attraction as an E-ticket experience.
First, the cost aspect doesn’t make any sense. Second, that premise again ignores Disney’s business model.
Some of the attractions must cater to parents with small children. That’s, like, the whole point of Disney.
Imagineers will construct some attractions to achieve different goals than the ones you may desire as a fan.
Specifically, we’ll get flat rides/spinners and the like as a way to add cheap but proven experiences that are family-friendly.
Second, Disney will add some attractions with massive throughput as a way of getting guests off the main paths.
That’s Disney’s primary goal with its expansion. The parks cannot hold all the guests who want to visit Disney.
So, virtually all the attractions that Imagineers build will serve the essential purpose of boosting throughput.
Many of the less exciting attractions serve that purpose.
This logic also explains why Walt Disney World revamped Finding Nemo and Little Mermaid shows.
From a financial perspective, it made more sense to keep those shows up and running for throughput purposes.
Why This and Not That?
I hate this one, too, but it’s just the nature of the beast. I’m also susceptible to it as well.
Why doesn’t Disney offer a Lilo & Stitch attraction worthy of the franchise?
For that matter, why isn’t there a Hawaii-themed land?
We could call it Ohana, and it’d be crowded all the time due to the Stitch merchandise.
Well, I’m sure somebody at Disney can explain why that doesn’t exist, just like we don’t have The Emperor’s New Groove.
I mean, even after all this time, Disney still hasn’t created a ride based on The Lion King, a fact that boggles my mind.
Park officials choose the attractions and franchises that fit the parks the best now and for the foreseeable future.
Disney isn’t perfect in guessing what people will love – see: Stitch’s Great Escape – but that’s not the point.
The franchises that earn themed lands and attractions will make sense to all involved.
They may not be your favorites, but you’ll fully understand why Disney picked them anyway.
Most fans have a strong sense of what’s popular at Disney.
That fact won’t stop people from complaining if something they don’t love receives an entire themed land.
We’ll hear the outcry of “Why didn’t you pick my thing instead?” It’ll be loud and repetitive, and that’s sadly unavoidable.
Where Is My Fifth Gate?
Disney CEO Bob Iger recently made his feelings pretty clear.
He sees more value in taking a modular approach to theme park expansion.
So, Disney is much more likely to build several different themed lands across the parks than what many fans want.
And that desire is a third themed gate at Disneyland Resort plus a fifth themed gate at Walt Disney World.
Both those things remain a possibility, but if Disney chooses to build on what it already has, that’s a justifiable decision.
We all want entirely new theme parks. I’m not holding my breath on that happening, though, nor should you.
The outcry is inevitable if Disney chooses Iger’s piecemeal approach, though.
In truth, that statement applies to all this. No matter what Disney does, a loud minority will make the same complaint.
“Disney spent $60 billion, but I can’t even tell the difference.” It’s inevitable because that’s how some people are.
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Feature Photo: Disney