Disney Headlines for August 24th, 2021
Disney’s recent headlines weren’t all positive. In fact, some fear that the company will prove the root cause of the impending robot rebellion!
Yes, we’d rather talk about cruise ships and phone calls with Disney Princesses. But, unfortunately, we must first address the T-1000 in the living room.
Fear for your lives as you read this week’s Disney Headlines!
The Sentient Robots Are Coming!
Here’s the theme song from an old Cartoon Network show you didn’t watch:
Sure, everybody digs giant robots right up until the moment that they start ending the scourge of humanity. I mean, we’ve all seen Avengers: Age of Ultron, right?
Well, Imagineers have chosen to tempt fate with their latest plans.
More than 50 years ago, Disney unveiled a robot Abraham Lincoln that dazzled spectators at the 1964 New York World’s Fair.
Alas, those days of clearly artificial robotic movement won’t cut it now.
Kids have grown up in an age when watches act like Star Trek communicators. Cars run on batteries rather than animal bones.
A herky-jerky Lincolnbot just doesn’t cut it anymore. Disney knows this and is ready to modernize its robot army.
Specifically, Baby Groot has taken robotic form and wants to say hi to you.
A New York Times author details his encounter with the most realistic Imagineering creation ever. It’s not quite Bender from Futurama, but it’ll do.
One day soon, Disney plans to unleash this thing in the parks, allowing RoboGroot to interact with (and hopefully not devour) children.
I don’t want to be a techno-alarmist here, but an Imagineer provided this quote: “A new trend that is coming into our animatronics is a level of intelligence.”
That’s what the scientist says in literally every killer robot sci-fi movie just before the robot starts killing everything.
We’re all going to die. On the plus side, Baby Groot looks soooo cute, though! He even dances! (Hopefully not on our graves.)
Phone a Princess
The Simpsons once joked that you couldn’t just invent a new holiday. Then, Homer got snippy when Marge gifted him the wrong stuffed bear on Love Day.
I thought of that when Disney announced that next week is Disney Princess Week.
Look, I’m never one to prevent Cinderella and co. from wearing a new ball gown. But that’s a bit too Wicked Stepmother for me.
So, I’ve decided to lean into the genius of Disney Princess Week instead.
For seven days, we get to celebrate everything wonderful about Disney royalty. And we won’t be sarcastic about it!
At no point will we wonder why all these women’s parents are dead, yet they’re not Disney Queens.
We don’t know anything about governmental infrastructure or succession plans in these principalities.
Instead, we’ll focus on the glory of the new Phone a Princess system that Disney set up for the holiday week!
Yes, for one week only, kids can participate in the Ultimate Princess Celebration Hotline.
They’ll call 1-877-70-DISNEY to speak with one of five beloved Disney Princesses.
Children who prefer Anna and Elsa can talk to them on the ShopDisney page Disney set up for the event.
I’m being a bit snarky today, but let me be clear. This idea is brilliant, and your kids will loooove it.
The Disney Parks Blog has also crafted a whole week of content around the various Disney Princesses.
So, you’ll want to check back every day to learn what’s happening for Disney Princess Week!
PS: If you talk to Ariel, tell her she’s my favorite!
More about the Disney Wish
The Imagineers working on the Disney Wish keep impressing us!
Disney had previously announced plenty of details about its upcoming cruise ship.
We know that the Disney Wish will become the pride of the fleet the moment it embarks on its first voyage.
Still, Disney keeps leaking details, and they’re all fantastic! In fact, the latest reveal is probably the best one to date.
Disney invited a Forbes writer to experience an interactive game called Disney Uncharted Adventure.
This game works via the Play Disney Parks app. What it does will dazzle your kids. It turns your phone into an enchanted spyglass!
You can roam the ship, playing interactive games with various Disney characters.
In fact, Captain Minnie Mouse and Mickey Mouse will call you right before your trip to teach you about Disney Uncharted Adventure!
You and your kids will learn the importance of stars for ancient sailors, who used them to navigate the high seas. It’s precisely the kind of infotainment you’d expect from Disney!
While onboard the ship, the enchanted spyglass will use augmented reality versions of Disney characters.
Each of these characters will help you on your adventure, guiding you to rebuild a shattered wishing star. You’ll find the missing pieces aboard the ship!
The Disney Wish shows just how much Disney Cruise Line has evolved its approach to entertainment. It wants to bring families together by having them take on an adventure.
Disney describes the experience like this:
“This is a heads-up, active experience that can be played with family and friends. The magic will happen all around the ship.
The spyglass is not where the adventure takes place — it’s just the tool that brings the ship to life, opening portals into new worlds and allowing guests to interact with them.”
You know the deal here. Still, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention it. Disney confirmed that FastPass as we know it is gone forever.
Technically, Disney indicated that last year. Many people simply chose not to believe them.
The replacement, Disney Genie, is actually a staggering advance in theme park technology.
Unfortunately, Disney didn’t present it well because they shared that story with the news about Lightning Lane/Disney Genie+.
That side of the equation is a bit more nuanced. Disney WILL charge for access to the shorter line, the one we used to call the FastPass side.
Guests can still wait in the standby line just like usual. Disney Genie+ is entirely optional.
If all this sounds familiar, it should, at least if you’ve visited Disneyland Resort recently.
What I’m describing is MaxPass by a different name. It’ll even cost the same price as before at the Happiest Place on Earth.
The difference is that Disney will introduce this system at Walt Disney World as well. So, yeah, free FastPasses are no longer a thing.
Also, Disneyland and Walt Disney World will add Lightning Lane, which is slightly different.
Park guests can pick up to two attractions per visit that they’ll pay to ride. It’s the same system that Disneyland Paris just implemented, albeit with a different name.
At that park, guests pay up to $15 per person for one-time access to the best attractions.
That’s the part of the discussion that has become a sticking point for some. We’re talking about spending $30 more a day just for two rides.
How will all this play out? I’m sure we’ll find out in future articles of Disney Headlines!