A Few Disney Decisions I Don’t Understand
Let me admit the painfully obvious.
I could NEVER run a theme park. In fact, I don’t even play Planet Coaster because it strikes me as too much work.
So, there’s a fair amount of hypocrisy in my broaching this subject. But I think about Disney theme parks a lot.
Sometimes, I don’t see the big picture of what Disney has done/is doing. Here are a few Disney decisions I don’t understand.
Didn’t Disney Build Journey of Water in the Wrong Park?
Later this year, Journey of Water | Inspired by Moana will open at EPCOT.
Disney has split the former Future World themed land into three different locations.
Photo: Disney
If you’ve visited the park lately, you know that the Moana water feature will cascade through World Nature and somewhat function as the spine of this section.
Since I love the story of Moana, I cannot wait for this “sentient water” feature to open. But there’s something I still can’t comprehend.
Photo: Disney
Why didn’t Disney add Journey of Water at Disney’s Animal Kingdom instead of EPCOT?
Disney officials hinted at the 2022 D23 Expo that a Moana ride or themed land could be coming to Disney’s Animal Kingdom.
While nobody confirmed anything, those tenuous plans make sense in that Moana’s story fits perfectly with Animal Kingdom. Or Magic Kingdom. Or Disney’s Hollywood Studios.
The watery design meshes perfectly with all of Animal Kingdom’s waterways/tributaries.
Photo: Disney
At Hollywood Studios, the “ride the movies” concept remains in play despite all the recent changes.
This park’s theme allows for any attraction based on a film to seem viable.
Photo: The Points Guy
Finally, you could add elements of any Disney movie at Magic Kingdom (except for THAT one), and nobody would blink.
I can conceptualize the attraction’s fit at any of these places. EPCOT is where it makes the least sense to me.
Photo: Disney
Moreover, I cannot shake the thought that Disney decided it wanted to do something visually splashy to reinvigorate EPCOT and chose this.
Historically, park officials have chosen based on which story fits best in a spot.
Photo: Disney
This is more of a square peg in a round hole and has the unmistakable fingerprints of Bob Chapek all over it.
Don’t get me wrong. We are ALL gonna love Journey of Water. It sounds sublime. Thematically, I just don’t think Disney picked the best park for it.
How Is So Much Still in Limbo?
Photo: Walt Disney Company
Under former CEO Bob Chapek, Disney cloaked far too much in secrecy.
Chapek felt the same about transparency as I do about onions, and my onion allergy is so severe that the mere taste of one causes a protein spill.
Photo: CNBC
Thankfully, Bob Iger has returned as CEO, and he’s among the most polished corporate leaders of our lifetime.
Iger instinctively appreciates policy and innately possesses the skills of communication and diplomacy.
Credit: AP
During his five months back at Disney, the parks have done a much better job in relaying plans…mostly.
We still don’t know a few things that surprise me, though. Let’s start with an arcane one.
Photo: Disney
Disney previously announced Reflections: A Lakeside Lodge as an ambitious hotel coming to the Bay Lake area in the former location for River Country.
Imagineers broke ground on the planned resort, which would have been one of the most luxurious properties Disney ever built.
Photo: DVC
Then, the pandemic occurred, and Disney apparently canceled the project.
The most recent paperwork called for permits to clean up the site before leaving it in a state of purgatory.
Disney has never confirmed the cancellation of the project, though.
Photo: Disney
Similarly, the company previously announced an upcoming change at Spaceship Earth.
While this ride is legitimately my favorite on the planet, many believe it’s desperately in need of a refresh.
Disney had indicated an updated Spaceship Earth re-theming would happen. The pandemic likely canceled those plans…but we don’t know that.
A recent USA Today interview with an Imagineer indicated that the EPCOT reboot is nearly complete.
Spaceship Earth
Where does that leave Spaceship Earth, an attraction that DOES need a refurb?
And what in the blue Hell is happening with the Disney Dining Plan?
Why isn’t Disney simply confirming or denying any of this stuff? It’d take five minutes.
Why Did Disney Keep Tomorrowland Speedway?
Here’s one that bugs me.
While Walt Disney World covers 40+ miles of land, each theme park comes with its theoretical spatial boundaries.
Photo: Disney
Once the construction crews install utilities, sewage, and the like, a kind of hard lock occurs.
So, no matter how popular Magic Kingdom is – and it’s the number one paid tourist attraction in the world – Disney can’t do much in terms of expansion, at least not without a LOT of effort.
My point here is that every acre of land counts at Magic Kingdom. Disney needs to maximize all of it.
Have you ever looked at a map of Magic Kingdom? I mean, have you really looked at it?
Photo: Disney
The track for Tomorrowland Speedway covers more space than the northeastern section of New Fantasyland.
I mention that because Disney rebuilt Fantasyland on the fly more than a decade ago to reinvigorate and modernize the space.
The recent debut of Tron Lightcycle / Run does the same thing at Tomorrowland.
During the many years of construction, Disney possessed ample opportunities to eliminate Tomorrowland Speedway.
The attraction provides less thrills than any handheld game your child plays on your phone/their tablet. And the wait times reinforce that guests view it as a relic.
Despite this fact, Disney passed on the chance to tear down this ride and add something better. And it could have been several somethings!
What’s with the Strange Names?
Image Credit: Universal Orlando
Finally, I’ve got a small bone to pick, but it irks me.
Universal Studios is far guiltier of what I’m about to describe than Disney, but the latter has trended the wrong way recently.
Photo: Universal
Here, I’ll list some examples from the two parks so that you can guess the issue:
- Journey of Water | Inspired by Moana
- MEN IN BLACK Alien Attack
- TRANSFORMERS: The Ride 3D
- Tron Lightcycle / Run
- Toy Story Mania!
- Toy Story Midway Mania!
Yes, I’m irked by inconsistent naming conventions. On the Universal side, why does one ride have a colon while the other doesn’t?
With Disney, those last two bug the stuffing out of me, as does Tron.
I mean, Toy Story Mania is the same ride at Disney’s Hollywood Studios and Disney California Adventure.
Why did one drop “Midway” while the other left it in there?
Photo: Disney
With Tron, who thought that name was a good idea? For several years, we knew that Magic Kingdom would get a version of Tron Lightcycle Power Run.
Everyone called the roller coaster by that name because it’s the same as the Shanghai Disneyland version.
Then, in the weeks leading up to Tron’s American opening, somebody in marketing apparently had an idea…and a terrible one.
Walt Disney World’s two major 2023 attractions include a / and a | in their names! WHY?
Photo: Playbuzz.com
I genuinely pity people typing the name on their phones. Autocorrect usually loses its mind.
Disney’s naming conventions are so weird right now that I wonder whether Prince’s ghost has taken up residence at Haunted Mansion and started naming stuff.
Photo: Disney
Dear Disney: please make the names more accessible and less obtuse. Tron Lightcycle / Run is an F- name for an A+ ride.
Photo: MickeyBlog
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