Tourist Guide to the Cuisine of Black Spire Outpost
Hello, visitors from planet Earth! Welcome to Batuu, the last civilization at the edge of the galaxy. Once you leave the Outer Rim here, you’ll find yourself in Wild Space, a dangerous place where no good person should ever visit. So, you’ve chosen wisely by stopping at Batuu instead! Let’s visit Black Spire Outpost.
I’ll be your guide and help you learn everything that you need to have the best possible time during your trip. As a word of warning, Batuu has some nefarious elements. They’re either members of The First Order or The Resistance, depending on your perspective.
I’m neutral and didn’t get to be Associate Tour Guide Second Class by choosing sides. So, I won’t judge for your (possibly wrong) opinions. I’m simply here to help you have a great time. In today’s tourist guide to Batuu, let’s learn about the cuisines available on my home planet. Even those of you off-worlders who are picky and hard to please should find plenty to eat here.
We’re simple folk on Batuu. We see something, we kill it, and then we throw it on the grill. We think it’s best that you not ask a lot of questions about what it is or whether it is technically a meat. If you want some sort of food that you can identify, go to Coruscant instead, you fancy pants tourist.
You’re still here? Good. My boss hates when I tell tourists to leave the planet. Anyway, when you crave protein and don’t need to know what it is, you should head to Ronto Roasters. This place is where our favorite retired smelting droid, 8D-J8, smelts…other stuff. You’ll notice that there’s always something roasting on the spit when you visit here. Usually, it’s Ronto.
What’s a Ronto, you might ask? Well, I just said not to ask questions about the “meat” here. Since you’re not from around here, you should know that Rontos are pack animals from Tatooine, that place where Jabba the Hut entombs his enemies in carbonite. Ronto may taste like sausage or pork, depending on your order. The place also sells something called Nuna Turkey Jerky. Since we don’t have turkeys on Batuu, you’re rolling the dice on what the protein is.
This place will wish you a “Bright Suns!” with its hearty breakfast offerings. The Ronto Morning Wrap is the star here. It’s like your human sausage and egg wrap with cheddar and peppercorn sauce. When you want something less meaty, you should pick the Rising Moons Overnight Oats.
During the rest of the day, Ronto only roasts one thing. You’ll get the Ronto Wrap here, and you’ll like it. This pita is a combo of sausage and pork. Three specialty drinks are also available, none of which is alcoholic.
The Meiloorun Juice is a hodgepodge of several fruity beverages like lemonade, pineapple and cranberry juice. The Sour Sarlacc is limeade combined with mango and raspberry. And the Tatooine Sunshine is a tea mixed with lemonade and some other juices. What can I say? We have similar fruit flavors here on Batuu.
Docking Bay 7 Food and Cargo
Those of us who live on Batuu are a bit afraid of Chef Strono “Cookie” Tuggs, the owner and operator of this establishment. He’s a notorious taskmaster with a demanding vision for serving the citizens and guests of Black Spire Outpost. Formerly a royal chef, Cookie loves his job as the provider of Tuggs’ Grub.
Because the chef is so well-traveled, he has filled his cargo bay with giant cartons of food. You’ll find the most diverse menu on Batuu here. It’s also the place that hosts the most diners thanks to its combination of indoor tables and outdoor seating.
Docking Bay 7 Food and Cargo in Black Spire Outpost provides some of the best tech on the planet, too. Their Mobile Ordering service allows you to order your grub before you ever set foot in the restaurant. Several places on planet use this service, but you’ll appreciate it the most here.
Speaking of grub, Cookie serves three different daily meals. During what your people call breakfast, you may eat Bright Suns Morning, a sampler of our favorite morning cuisines. It has eggs, sausage, purple potato hash (the only appropriate color for potato hash), and a delicious mustafarian lava roll. Rising Moons Overnight Oats are a healthier alternative thanks to their oats, dragonfruit, and yogurt.
At lunch, the healthy choice is Felucian Garden Spread, a plant-based kefta. Dinner has a similarly good-for-you dish, Ithorian Garden Loaf. It’s a botanical version of meatloaf. So, it’s not for everyone.
Guests with heartier appetites at lunch and dinner will have several other options. Fried Endorian Tip-yip tastes like your Earth chicken. You may pick it as part of a salad when you order Roasted Endorian Tip-yip Salad instead.
The other dinner salad is a delectable Yobshrimp Noodle Salad with shrimp and marinated noodles. When you want to max out at Cookie’s, however, the clear choice is Smoked Kaadu Ribs, a sticky pork rib dish cooked from the meat of creatures that roam the land outside the gates of Black Spire Outpost. Alternately, you could eat the Braised Shaak Roast, a kind of beef pot roast.
One thing I’ve learned over the years is that tourists like to get sloshed. Apparently, you’re away from all your problems and don’t know what to do with the worry-free time. So, you drink.
On Batuu, the best place to drink is Oga’s Cantina. It’s open from Bright Suns to Rising Moons, but don’t worry. Even on this planet, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere.
Even when you’re not thirsty or looking to overpay for a lot of glowing drinks, you should still visit this bar. It’s kind of the heart of Black Spire Outpost, a place where brigands and mercs rub elbows with the politically connected. You’ll even find R3X, formerly of Star Tours, working his new job as the club DJ.
Realistically, you’re going to want overpriced glow drinks, though. That’s the appeal of the place and an unforgettable experience. Specialties here are the Bloody Rancor, the Carbon Freeze, and the Fuzzy Tauntaun. The first one is vodka added to a Bloody Mary mix, while the last one is vodka with peach schnapps and – I kid you not – pure cane sugar and foam. The Carbon Freeze is another mix of a bunch of different fruit juices. This one’s comprised of blueberry, green apple, lemon lime, and strawberries.
Several other drinks here have awesome names. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention any of Bespin Fizz, Blurrgfire, Jabba Juice, the Jedi Mind Trick, and Oga’s Obsession. You can also order beer and wine here, but that feels like you’d be missing the point.
You’re tourists. You’re not a moron, right? It’s the Milkstand. It serves milk. What else could it possibly serve? You can buy Blue Milk here or you can buy Green Milk here. These frozen drinks have a mix of coconut and rice flavors. They’ll cost $7.99 a glass.
If you regret drinking this instead of something at Oga’s Cantina, I understand that you humans love to say, “Milk was a bad choice!” So, you’re covered either way.
Kat Saka’s Kettle
The other niche restaurant at Black Spire Outpost is run by my friend, Kat Saka. Kat is kind of an oddball. This farmer roams the galaxy in search of spices. Then, the chef returns to Batuu and mixes them together into a delicious trail mix.
Yes, the kettle corn that Kat Saka sells is called Outpost Popcorn Mix. It’s a decorative, multi-colored batch of what you humans would call popcorn. Kat’s version somehow combines the spices collected across the universe and turns them into a sweet but spicy mix. It’s a terrific noshing stack that you can carry around the outpost.
At $6.49, it’s also one of the cheapest items on our admittedly pricey planet. Hey, this place is like your Hawaii. Stuff costs more when you have to transport it to the edge of the galaxy!