Seven Disney Attractions Where You Don’t Know What Will Happen Next
One of the complaints I hear the most about Disney rides is that they never change.
As the argument goes, once you’ve ridden Pirates of the Caribbean and Peter Pan’s Flight, that’s it. They’re never changing.
That belief offends me on a core level, as Disney pluses its attractions relentlessly, including a rather infamous change at Pirates of the Caribbean.
Still, let’s pretend for a moment that these updates aren’t enough. Let’s presume that you prefer a bit of chaos at Disney.
Here are seven Disney attractions where you have no idea what will happen next.
Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin
I’ll tell you what you’ve always wanted to hear about this ride. Yes, it’s a competition. And yes, the outcome matters.
Bragging rights are real, and you want them. Nay, you NEED them. Otherwise, your significant other will spend the rest of the day tormenting you about the outcome.
Let’s call this person Kim, and let’s all agree that we cannot stand her smug superiority about the fact that she always wins!
Seriously, some people have mastered Space Ranger Spin and can always rank as Galactic Hero. These people are NOT to be trusted. There’s something wrong with them.
I vastly prefer my random score and uncertain ranking somewhere in the range of Ranger 1st Class to Space Ace.
Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind
Here’s a fun recent addition to Disney’s incredible lineup of thrill rides.
On Cosmic Rewind, guests aid the Guardians of the Galaxy as they try to fight an evil Celestial.
As is typically the case with the Guardians, this isn’t a planned encounter. You wind up as bait during a chase sequence.
Each time you ride, this roller coaster will feel a bit different, though. Disney famously asked its cast members to suggest songs for Cosmic Rewind.
The loyal employees famously mentioned hundreds of tracks. Imagineers tried each one before eventually settling on six versions.
Each of these six songs somehow influences the ride experience, meaning you’ll need to keep riding until you’ve heard all of them!
By the way, the same idea applies to Guardians of the Galaxy – Mission: BREAKOUT! at Disney California Adventure as well.
Even though that’s an entirely different ride design, the random music still factors into your ride experience.
Jungle Cruise
Many famous comedians worked on Jungle Cruise. For example, Robin Williams once worked on the ride.
Oddly, so did Kevin Costner of Yellowstone. So, you don’t have to be funny to work as a Cruise Skipper…but it helps!
While Jungle Cruise has used a variant of the same script since the late 1950s, Cruise Skippers always make it their own.
Many go off-script as well, tossing in the occasional ad-lib to liven up a crowd whose faces register that they’ve heard it all before.
In such instances, you have no idea what the Cruise Skipper will say. And I live for that element of surprise!
Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor
Of course, for those of us who prefer more improvisation, Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor is that much better.
You’ll start with a general story wherein you learn from Monsters University’s greatest physical comedian, Mike Wazowski, and other characters from the film franchise.
At one point, the characters take questions from the crowd, and that’s when the chaos comedy unfolds!
I can’t help but wonder what kind of jokes Robin Williams would have told in this environment. But Disney’s current cast members are spectacular!
Here, watch this:
That sunglasses joke kills! And it’s the kind of surprising humor you can expect during this show.
Star Tours – The Adventures Continue!
In 2011, Disney provided this attraction with the update it sorely needed.
While the original Star Tours stunned with its entertainment value in the 1980s, it’d lost its fastball by the 21st century.
Imagineers reinvigorated the ride with new stories, some of which came from the prequel trilogy.
In terms of randomization, that’s not even the best part, though. Disney deftly split the Star Tours experience into sections.
In each of these parts, a different experience unfolds. For example, you may encounter Poe Dameron, Yoda, or Lando Calrissian during one section.
In another, your spacecraft will fly off to the world of Crait or Exegol or Naboo. You just don’t know about this or any other section of the ride.
In fact, you would feasibly need to ride Star Tours 700 times (!) to experience the same series of events. Now that’s random, my friends!
Turtle Talk with Crush
Here’s arguably the best of Disney’s random attractions. I say this because it’s even better than Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor.
As the saying goes, kids say the darndest things. At Turtle Talk with Crush, you legitimately have no idea what question a child will ask.
While Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor uses more of a script, Turtle Talk is entirely open-ended…and sheer chaos.
You’ll find tons of YouTube videos and TikToks that compile some of the funniest questions and Crush’s response.
In fact, this person has collated a ton of TikToks into a single YouTube video:
I’m a big fan of the reveal regarding his involvement in a Disney movie. And that’s the joy of Crush.
Disney magic allows a cast member to register their emotions and reactions via a giant turtle! And the off-the-cuff jokes will leave you in stitches!
Twilight Zone Tower of Terror
I won’t spoil the surprise of this ride’s design, but if you’ve ridden it a few times, you know the deal here.
Imagineers created Tower of Terror with a bit more ambition than the average drop-tower ride.
As a rule, these rides either toss you straight up in the air, or they pull the rug out from under you, dropping you in a zero-G environment.
Disney loves to subvert expectations. So, Imagineers changed the structure of the Hollywood Tower Hotel.
This building hosts guests in multiple areas. In each section, the elevator shaft will behave differently from the rest.
So, you’ll have no idea whether you’re going up or down during your elevator catastrophe. In truth, you’ll probably do both.
Still, only the most obsessive Tower of Terror fans can guess what’s coming each ride.
For the overwhelming majority of people, it’s an unpredictable series of bounces. And that’s what we all love about Disney: the surprises!
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Feature Photo: Disney