Disney Headlines for July 6th, 2022
A Florida man tried to get a job with Disney. But, true to the meme, he attempted to impress his would-be employers in the dumbest way possible.
We’ll talk about this, an exciting decision at Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, and incorrect reports that Jeff Bezos had “taken over Disney.”
Photo: Richard Harbaugh
Mistakes Were Made
Have you ever wanted to work at Disney? Would you have done anything possible at the time to turn your dream into a reality?
Well, a dude in Florida felt that way, too. So, when inspiration struck about how to prove himself as an ideal job candidate, he acted.
Photo: Disney
With the benefit of hindsight, this job applicant probably should have reconsidered…presuming that you believe his story. You probably won’t.
Here’s what happened. Reports surfaced the other day that someone had stolen R2-D2 from the third floor of the Walt Disney World Swan Hotel.
Photo: Swan and Dolphin
In fact, the thief hadn’t stopped there. They’d also gone ahead and snagged an arcade game as well.
Folks, I recently lugged an arcade cabinet up a flight of stairs. I can say with total sincerity that it’s not easy to do.
Photo: Theme Park Tourist
For this reason, when someone claims they were doing it to prove their skill, I can’t help but laugh. But that’s what happened here.
An individual I won’t name applied for a job at Walt Disney World. Specifically, he wanted to work in security and felt he was overqualified for entry-level employment.
This enterprising (?) individual decided that if they exposed weaknesses in Disney’s current security, they’d get an even better job with the company.
Yes, that’s definitely how corporate America works. When you make someone look like a fool, they happily promote you above them in the company, right?
Anyway, this person accidentally proved two things, neither of which helped his case. First, he wasn’t smart enough to pull off the crime.
Secondly, he showed that Disney security is shockingly good.
Ocean’s Zero
The master plan here, if we generously call it that, involved the job applicant’s acquisition of a cast member uniform for the Swan Hotel.
During Memorial Day Weekend, the person noticed an opportunity to snag said uniform from the Swan Hotel.
Photo: swananddolphin.com
While posing as an employee, the person walked straight to the third floor and grabbed the R2-D2 on display. And they took the arcade cabinet, too.
The thief claims that they had no intention of keeping either item. Instead, they merely wanted to prove how easy it was to steal stuff at Disney.
Photo: Disney
The fact that this person has turned into a headline tells the rest of that story. Disney security caught the person quickly.
Then, the police charged the individual with grand theft and obstruction by false information.
Photo: 19 News
The entire incident proves how dumb most criminals are. Cops arrived on the scene quickly and interrogated the individual.
At this point, the would-be Disney security guard provided a fake name and listed a Disneyland worker as their boss…even though he was at Walt Disney World.
Photo: www.ocso.com
After a bit more investigation, Disney and local law enforcement officials connected the thief to several other crimes.
He’s previously stolen hundreds of dollars of merchandise from resorts, failed in an attempt to charge jewelry to someone else’s hotel room, and broke into multiple Disney arcades.
Photo: disneysquared.com
Presumably, this was all research so that he’d know what to look for once he became Disney’s head of security. It’s either that, or he’s a VERY stupid criminal.
When Was A Long Time Ago Anyway?
Last month, Disneyland announced its intention to break the Star Wars timeline.
Source: Lucasfilm
For the first time ever, characters from multiple Star Wars trilogies would appear in the parks simultaneously.
In other words, you could see Rey and Darth Vader simultaneously, which…shouldn’t be.
(Matt Stroshane, photographer)
A small but vocal group of Star Wars fans – is there any other kind? – expressed their displeasure with Disney’s decision.
They felt that Disney was violating the storytelling canon by juxtaposing characters from the first and third trilogies.
Photo: Matt Stroshane
For its part, Disney has remained defiant here. Park officials have finally acknowledged a glaring weakness with Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge.
For all the themed land’s splendor, it has proven hamstrung by the fact that the various Star Wars stories stretch across generations.
Photo: Disney
As such, Disney must do something it’s never preferred to do historically. When Disney designs themed lands and attractions, they’re as respectful to the story as possible.
With Galaxy’s Edge, that’s impossible. Instead, Disney must choose between having the most available characters or remaining true to the timeline. Management has correctly picked the characters.
Photo: Disney
Between Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge and Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser, Disney fans enjoy unprecedented opportunities to explore the Star Wars universe.
We should get to do all of it, not just whatever fits with the timeline.
Photo: themanual.com
By making this choice, Disney opens up Galaxy’s Edge for tie-ins whenever new Disney+ series and movies come out.
Yes, Galaxy’s Edge will be more like Avengers Campus, and that’s a very good thing.
Photo: Disney
HE JUST VISITED
I’d make it my mission in life to combat clickbait as much as humanly possible if not for the fact that I wouldn’t even make a ripple.
Too many insidious headline writers take the low-hanging fruit, and that’s how we wind up with people believing the patently absurd.
Photo: Forbes
No, folks, Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, isn’t taking over Disney. All references along those lines are cheeky references to a recent date.
Bezos and his girlfriend, Lauren Sanchez, visited Disneyland because even the wealthiest people in the world still need a dose of the Happiest Place on Earth.
(Photo by Prodip Guha/Getty Images)
Apparently, Sanchez isn’t a fan of Space Mountain, though. Like my wife, she chose to sit that one out, which is why I usually ride it alone.
However, my alone differs from that of Bezos. Here, look at this tweet:
According to @TMZ, @JeffBezos rode Disneyland's Space Mountain by himself yesterday.
He got you there @elonmusk pic.twitter.com/jMGIG374Lq
— Supercluster (@SuperclusterHQ) June 30, 2022
Yes, Bezos somehow commandeered an entire spacecraft of his own. There are other photos of Bezos and Sanchez riding with others.
So, I have no idea what happened here that caused Bezos to be the only person onboard his trip to Space Mountain.
Photo:IMDB
Bezos has absorbed a social media beating for allegedly buying out the ride. Let’s be honest, though. You totally would if you could, right?
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Feature Photo: Disney
