Disney Attractions Guaranteed to Make You Smile
When you visit Walt Disney World, you’re looking for a good time.
Disney knows this and has constructed four theme parks with one underlying purpose. The attractions should make you happy!
Imagineers have gotten so good at this that one park alone features ten such places.
Here are 10 Magic Kingdom attractions guaranteed to make you smile!
Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
Yes, this runaway mine cart ride serves its primary goal as a thrilling roller coaster ride.
Still, what I always admire about the attraction is its wit and style.
Think about the visuals you notice while you’re riding the mine cart outside! There’s an old man bathing himself in a glorified sardine can!
How did he get there? It’s a ghost town, yet he’s lived there long enough to need a bath.
Also, is that tin boat his home? Doesn’t it get hot in the sun? I have so many questions!
Big Thunder Mountain Railroad isn’t a ride that takes itself too seriously, and I love that about it.
Country Bear Jamboree
Disney had so much fun writing the script for this attraction. In fact, it’s barely changed over the years since everyone there knows it’s timeless.
Country Bear Jamboree features some of the most ridiculous country and western songs ever made. But, somehow, they’re funnier with bears singing.
My favorite involves three bonnet-clad ingenues sincerely describing their heartache.
The lyrics include this gem: all the guys who turn me on turn me down. I never get tired of this performance:
That one song only scratches the surface of the show. After that, it’s ten minutes of pure silliness, and I mean that in the best possible way.
Enchanted Tales with Belle
At this point, Enchanted Tales with Belle counts as the Magic Kingdom theme park attraction that we miss the most.
Almost everything else has reopened, but Disney has hedged its bets on an indoor interactive attraction involving lots of communication between guests and cast members.
Still, when Enchanted Tales with Belle is operational, it’s almost a Choose Your Own Adventure at Disney.
Kids relish the opportunity to play dress-up as various characters from Beauty and the Beast. Meanwhile, their parents love putting on a show for the kids.
Haunted Mansion
These next two are self-explanatory. They’re the goofiest rides at Magic Kingdom by choice.
Haunted Mansion adds some scary elements to maintain a balance, but you know that you’ll smile the instant you board the Doom Buggy.
I could go on and on about the killer bride, the ballroom dancing ghosts, and the graveyard singers.
I mean, there’s a Viking opera singer who is getting choked by entrails, which somehow helps her hit those high notes!
This ride is soooo weird in the best possible way.
Jungle Cruise
“The back side of water!”
“He’ll get the point in the end.”
“Where are you from? Sorry. Oh, I heard you. I’m just sorry.”
This ride packs enough puns into its 12-minute trip that you’ll either die laughing or go insane. It could go either way, depending on your Skipper.
Perhaps the only part of Jungle Cruise that’s difficult to accept is that Walt Disney built it as a serious ride. It’s so much better silly, right?
Mickey’s PhilharMagic
No attraction demonstrates the pure joy of Disney animation better than Mickey’s PhilharMagic.
This story sets the stage by starting in a legendary scene from Fantasia, only Donald Duck screws everything up. This mistake hurls him into a grand adventure.
Our favorite duck (sorry, Daisy fans!) encounters characters from Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, and The Lion King, reminding us of the brilliance of each film.
Imagineers recently added Coco to the proceedings as well. So, Mickey’s PhilharMagic now includes a more modern touch, too.
Each of these singalong scenes warms the heart and reminds us all about why we fell in love with Disney in the first place.
Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor
Look, this attraction doubles as cast member improv class. It’s nothing but 20 minutes’ worth of jokes.
If that doesn’t make you smile, you’re either Waldorf or Statler.
Thinking out loud, Disney built an actual comedy club at Tomorrowland. No, there’s nothing futuristic about it, but who cares?
This attraction celebrates the sublime ending of Monsters, Inc., the one that celebrated the laughter of children over living in fear.
Disney theme parks need more shows like this. They’re the ones that empower cast members to demonstrate their God-given talent in a comfortable setting.
I love everything about Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor and genuinely don’t understand why it’s not popular.
Pirates of the Caribbean
Do you like pirate rides? You’re in one! Or something like that.
Perhaps no Disney attraction qualifies as more iconic than Pirates of the Caribbean. When people think of dark rides, this one quickly comes to mind.
The dichotomy of this attraction stems from the fact that pirates were monsters, a fact that has forced several revisions on the ride over the years.
However, Imagineers found the funny in drunken buffoonery. Most people love the Pooped Pirate the best, but I favor the dog holding the prison key.
There’s something about that power dynamic between him and the prisoners that busts me up.
Of course, the wife chasing the husband and threatening him with a rolling pin has proven timeless, too.
Almost everything about Pirates of the Caribbean can make you smile, a remarkable feat for a pirate’s tale.
Seven Dwarfs Mine Train
Heiiiiiiigh ho!
At one point, when you’re riding this roller coaster, you enter the underground mine.
The visual splendor of the experience will wow you, but that’s not what will make you smile.
As the coaster cart slowly approaches an incline, shadows suddenly appear on the walls.
The Seven Dwarfs are coming to life beside you, and they’re singing their favorite work anthem!
Disney could have designed another intense roller coaster in Magic Kingdom a la Expedition Everest. The park had enough room for it.
However, Imagineers went a different way in designing coaster carts that tilt instead. Disney chose fun over adrenaline. It was the right call!
Splash Mountain
By now, we’ve litigated and relitigated the flaws with Splash Mountain more than enough.
You’ve likely picked a side on the Song of the South connection, and nobody will move you off that position. Alternatively, you really don’t care that much.
Wherever you fall in this debate, you still get a kick out of Splash Mountain, right? You love the Audio-Animatronics and the upbeat music soundtrack.
Whenever you enter the Laughing Place or reach the singalong at the end, you’re smiling almost in spite of yourself.
Splash Mountain is a bona fide masterpiece and a warm hug of a ride. If you don’t smile while riding it, even Tywin Lannister thinks you’re too joyless.