Here, Have Some Disney Hot Takes!
This morning, I woke up and chose violence.
I had a couple of ideas rattling around my brain all day, and I’m finally ready to express them.
Here, have some of my most combative Disney hot takes.
Animal Kingdom Needs Help
The banging drums are growing louder as rumors swell of impending changes coming to Disney’s Animal Kingdom.
Personally, all I can say is that it’s about bleepin’ time. How has this not happened before now?
Pandora – The World of Avatar debuted in 2017.
Pandemic or not, NO Disney theme park should go seven years without a new attraction.
I’m sure we all agree that Pandora is breathtaking, but it’s the last new thing at the park, at least among permanent offerings.
Meanwhile, we’ve lost more than we’ve gained since then. In 2017, Animal Kingdom offered Rivers of Light and Primeval Whirl.
That raises a second question that someone else at MickeyBlog recently asked.
Why did Disney close Primeval Whirl if another replacement wasn’t in the offing?
Again, Disney should never be subtracting. Magic Kingdom closed Stitch’s Great Escape in 2018.
Nothing ever came afterward, and it’s starting to look like nothing will anytime soon. That’s just bad business.
So, whatever Disney is doing with Animal Kingdom needs to start soon and move quickly.
This park is woefully lacking in attractions right now.
Disney Genie+ Is Great
I struggled during the first wave of MyMagic+ at Walt Disney World.
My family stood in long lines during those early days of 2014, and the worst part was that we weren’t waiting for an attraction.
Instead, we needed a cast member to help us with the new FastPass+ system in place, the one that worked via computer/phone.
Let’s just say that while the early results were largely positive, mistakes happened throughout that challenging first year.
FastPass reservations would simply vanish from the system.
Sometimes, cast members would tell us we never booked them, but my wife was smart enough to print out everything.
You should have seen the looks on their faces when we proved that we’d booked something that the system didn’t show.
Fast forward ten years. Disney has mastered this technology, even though it’s been a slow process.
Specifically, smartphones have improved their processing speeds, while Disney has streamlined the tech.
Still, the former FastPass system came with a logical flaw, one I realize it’s unpopular to say out loud.
Everyone at the parks could skip the lines at the most popular attractions.
Since that was true, it diluted the value of the system. After all, the whole point was to shorten our waits for various rides.
When everyone can do that, we’re all gonna wait longer, which defeats the purpose.
Thankfully, Disney has switched this service to a paid platform and limits sales.
So, there are limits on how many people can purchase Disney Genie+, thereby guaranteeing its value and utility.
EPCOT Needs More Festivals
In 2017, the EPCOT International Festival of the Arts debuted as a weekend-only event.
Disney wanted to provide guests with a new reason to visit the park during its slowest month, January.
That gambit proved wildly successful, as January has probably grown more crowded than September. At a minimum, it’s close now.
What we’ve learned during the expansion of the Festival of the Arts is that audiences share an endless appetite for EPCOT festivals.
Recently, Disney announced that the EPCOT International Flower & Garden Festival would close on May 27th.
While we still don’t know the exact dates for the EPCOT International Food & Wine Festival, I say, “What’s the rush?”
Rather than starting Disney’s most popular festival earlier than usual, I’d prefer EPCOT to create a new summer event in its stead.
I think fans fully understand the benefits of added festivals now.
These exhibitions ensure fresh looks at various EPCOT-themed lands and sometimes even attractions.
Even better, fans enjoy their choice of limited-time foods, beverages, and merchandise.
I think Disney could easily add a fifth festival, and even a sixth one is theoretically possible.
After all, the EPCOT International Festival of the Holidays and Festival of the Arts are shorter events.
Dear EPCOT, offer one or two more of those, please!
Imagineers Need to Reconsider Ride Carts
A few years ago, when Avatar Flight of Passage debuted, critics assailed Disney for the discomfort of the ride cart.
I’m one of them. In complete sincerity, some of the Cast Members for this attraction strike me as sadists.
I have no idea about the instructions they’ve received from their bosses, but here’s what happens to me.
As someone with a bad back, I’ve read the warning sign posted outside the door, which suggests it could aggravate my back.
What nobody will tell you is that the ride itself is fairly gentle.
The aggravation comes from clamping you onto the glorified motorcycle. And it’s like an iron maiden form of torture.
For whatever reason, during the final checks, Cast Members inevitably approach me and push my back support tighter.
They do this even if I specifically ask them not to do it, which is decidedly un-Disney.
They probably know something I don’t. So, I was inclined to dismiss it as my problem until the debut of Tron Lightcycle / Run.
In case you haven’t heard, Disney messed up the ride carts on this attraction, too.
Park officials duplicated the Shanghai China ride, but they failed to consider the size differences between Chinese and American citizens.
Well, I’m sure Disney would say that it did, but when Tron opened, many people commented on the smallish ride carts.
Disney themes its ride carts brilliantly. How else would the Doom Buggy exist? But that’s only half the battle.
Comfort matters greatly when riding something at Disney. That’s something that hasn’t gotten enough consideration lately.
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