If Walt Disney World Parks Closed an Attraction, What Would Go?
Have you kept up with what Universal Orlando Resort has done recently?
Over the past fifteen months, Universal Studios has closed seven attractions, most recently Poseidon’s Fury.
Universal needs the space for newer attractions, ones that will appeal more to customers.
Walt Disney World isn’t dealing with the same constraint, as Uncle Walt bought plenty of land.
Still, as we witnessed at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, management will close rides if it wants the space for other attractions. We still miss you, The Great Movie Ride!
Let’s say that Disney takes this approach again. If each Walt Disney World theme park closed an attraction, what would it be?
Disney’s Animal Kingdom
Let’s start with the obvious acknowledgment. If any theme park needs to keep all its attractions, it’s Animal Kingdom!
We’re already facing a lack of great options at the park. That’s why everyone sprints to Pandora – The World of Avatar each morning.
Even so, we know from recent park history that Disney will eliminate a ride here if it’s not up to snuff.
Park officials did this with Primeval Whirl, a “steel Wild Mouse roller coaster” of shaky quality.
Eventually, Disney recognized that the short lines and protein spills were too big a problem.
Management correctly decided they’d rather have no attraction here than a bad one.
With rumors abounding that Disney will reclaim some currently used space for upcoming attractions/themed lands, something else could easily go.
A couple of years ago, I would have targeted the Finding Nemo show attraction as the most likely to go.
The park layout positions this building in front of a lot of empty space. While that may be necessary due to animal habitats, the show building itself is large.
Disney could feasibly have utilized that space for something different.
Instead, management recommitted to the Finding Nemo brand with a new, modernized show that is quite delightful.
So, what’s in danger now? Well, there’s an obvious answer and another that concerns me more.
Attractions at DinoLand U.S.A. comprise the space where Disney had suggested those new attractions/lands could go.
The obvious conclusion here involves TriceraTop Spin, a fun children’s ride that is more carnival quality than Disney quality. It’s a child-friendly spinner that serves a purpose.
Unfortunately, Disney could also consider DINOSAUR for extinction as well, and that thought stresses me.
Realistically, I believe Disney is more likely to re-theme this ride than destroy it, though. With TriceraTop Spin, they’d just tear it down.
Disney’s Hollywood Studios
I will readily acknowledge that I wrote myself into a corner here.
Part of the basis for this discussion involves the changes Disney made at Hollywood Studios.
We lost beloved attractions like The Great Movie Ride and joyous seasonal offerings like the Osborne Family Dancing Spectacle of Lights.
So, yeah, Disney already made these choices at Hollywood Studios. Since then, the park has entered the additions phase.
Hollywood Studios has constructed two themed lands and added another standalone E-ticket attraction, Mickey & Minnie’s Runaway Railway.
However, those of you who have paid attention over the past few years know that there’s an easy out here.
We all know which Hollywood Studios attraction could use a re-theming or reimagining.
Yes, I’m referencing Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith.
First, we should remember Disney already did this at Disneyland Paris.
The Aerosmith roller coaster vanished. In its place, Disney introduced Avengers Assemble: Flight Force.
Then, we should consider the constant legal struggles that various members of Aerosmith face.
The band clearly holds lingering hard feelings toward its lead singer, who is facing long-term allegations about his actions from the 1970s.
Disney may want to cut the cord here and reboot this ride building. However, Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster is currently undergoing refurbishment.
We have heard no hints that any dramatic changes are in the offing. Ergo, even if this happens, it won’t be for a long while.
EPCOT
It’s Figment, innit?
We could do a prolonged conversation about various attractions that merit reevaluation.
Personally, I was a bit surprised when Disney recommitted to Mission: SPACE as much as it did in 2017.
Disney refurbished the ride by altering the stories in a way that finally differentiated the Green and Orange missions.
Management could have tried something different but doubled down on Mission: SPACE instead.
With that option off the table, Figment becomes the obvious choice.
Old-school EPCOT fans bitterly denounce the current version of Journey into Imagination with Figment, just as we did the previous one.
When the Imagination! pavilion opened, Disney unveiled the perfect Figment attraction, one that tethered the character to the cherubic Dreamfinder.
Since then, the Dreamfinder has vanished, negating much of what was exceptional about the ride concept.
Disney initially dialed down Figment with the millennial version before admitting a mistake and dialing the imaginary dragon up again with the current one.
Still, Disney fans know that the Figment attraction could be better. And it should be better!
We love this character, and have the popcorn buckets to prove it!
The least that Disney can do is re-theme the ride to tell a better, more enduring Figment story!
Magic Kingdom
Yes, Ralph Wiggum says what I’m thinking here. Any discussion about eliminating Magic Kingdom attractions could prove…incendiary.
We all know that three of the least popular attractions at the park are Country Bear Jamboree, Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress, and Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room.
We also know that Walt Disney personally had a hand in developing all three of those attractions, making them sacred ground for Imagineers.
Removing any of the three would evoke outrage, something we learned a few years ago due to an unfounded rumor involving the Enchanted Tiki Room.
So, I’ll take those options off the board. You can safely put down your torches and pitchforks.
Instead, I’ll circle a different plot of land, one that mystifies me.
Tomorrowland Speedway covers a shocking amount of space for an outdated attraction with perennially low wait times.
Modern tourists don’t love the idea of driving around in a circle all day. If they wanted to do that, they’d visit the Arc de Triomphe in Paris instead.
Disney just reinvigorated Tomorrowland, which struck me as the ideal time to shutter the ride. That didn’t happen, meaning this probably isn’t happening soon.
Still, if Disney DID close an attraction at Magic Kingdom, I’m confident that Tomorrowland Speedway would prove the least divisive.
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