Nine Disney Attractions That May Kick Your Tail
Nobody wants to get sick at Disney. But, conversely, many theme park fans demand that Imagineers build countless thrill rides.
So, the mixed message here causes some strangeness. Disney sometimes builds rides that aren’t for everyone.
Here are nine Disney attractions you may regret riding because they could kick your tail.
Avatar Flight of Passage
Motion sickness will be a recurring theme today. However, three of the Disney attractions prove challenging for other reasons.
To wit, Avatar Flight of Passage is the ride I jokingly call The Chiropractor.
I have a herniated disc in my lower back. But, for whatever reason, cast members never ask about this.
Instead, when I reach the unique motorcycle ride cart, they’ll ask me to lean forward as much as possible. Then, they’ll ratchet the seat against my back.
The shooting fire that surges through my spine sometimes makes me wish that my Banshee would drop me into the oceans of Pandora, where one of those shark-whale things will end my suffering.
Expedition Everest
I love this ride oh so much, yet I always feel a bit guilty when I recommend Expedition Everest to others.
When people ride this one for the first time, they have no idea what to expect. And I still vividly recall a couple of times when it’s gone wrong for me.
That moment when the roller coaster kicks into reverse provides pure joy. However, if you’re not prepared for it, you’ll also find yourself facing several G’s of force.
That…does not feel good.
On the rare occasions when the ride goes wrong at Expedition Everest, I usually deal with a headache for several hours afterward.
So, I always tell friends to close their eyes at first when the ride goes backward. That helps with the disorienting sensation of reverse at high velocity.
Mad Tea Party
Do I even need to explain this one?
The most obvious pro tip on the planet is one cast members wish guests would accept.
You should NEVER eat right before you board Mad Tea Party. When you ride this on a full belly, you run the risk of emptying your stomach in front of strangers.
They will NOT like you afterward. Nor will the cast members, for that matter. They’re the ones who must clean up Mad Tea Party puke several times a day.
Oh, here’s one more pro tip that might apply to you. Never work at Mad Tea Party!
Even Tomorrowland Speedway is a more pleasurable gig, and it’s in the hot Florida sun!
Mission: SPACE
I’d argue that Disney has never miscalculated worse than it did during the creation of Mission: SPACE.
Imagineers desperately sought a space attraction worthy of NASA. But unfortunately, Disney overdid it by creating an attraction that proved too intense.
The earliest days of Mission: SPACE included some of Disney’s worst headlines ever.
I don’t want to relive the trauma here. Suffice to say that many got sick, and a couple of riders even died during the ride, although they had pre-existing conditions.
Soon afterward, Disney acknowledged the obvious and dialed down the turbulence on Mission: SPACE. The company added the less intense Green version.
If you want the Mission: SPACE experience without the G-force, pick this version.
When you choose the Orange version, you run the risk of headaches and stomach aches afterward.
Pixar Pal-A-Round
This Disney California Adventure ride satisfies most guests thanks to its unique take on the Ferris wheel premise.
However, one specific group hates everything about it. So, yes, if you’re afraid of heights, this one’s a non-starter.
You will spend far too much time in an enclosed space, staring out at the depths below you. And it WILL freak you out.
Also, I have a request for those of you who travel with people who are afraid of heights. Don’t goad them into trying this. It’s selfish and could ruin both of your days.
Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith
The following two Disney attractions are the ones that I treat with the most respect and/or abject fear. Sure, Avatar Flight of Passage can hurt at times, but it’s tolerable.
When I take the wrong approach on Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster, I regret it for the rest of the day.
Friends, when the cast members and the ride itself warn you to push your head back against the rest, please believe them.
When you choose not to do that, you run the risk of your head slamming against that rest moments later. You WILL see stars.
This roller coaster accelerates from zero to 57 MPH in less than three seconds. So, your head will slam hard against the back if you don’t prepare yourself.
I’ve gotten better about this over the years, but those first few rides were rough!
Space Mountain
Here’s the other ride that wrecks my back, and I’m not even sure how. I know that this ride goes between 28 and 32 miles per hour.
At such slow speeds, it shouldn’t feel so excruciating at times, yet it does.
The psychological aspects of Space Mountain play tricks with the mind, causing me to believe that I’m traveling at warp speed.
Meanwhile, my back is twisting and turning through all the blind turns. So, the torque is off the charts, even at slow speeds.
Star Tours – The Adventures Continue!
For whatever reason, Universal Studios rides are worse about motion simulation than Disney ones.
Whenever I’m at Universal, I limit myself each time to three or four of their umpteen motion simulators. Otherwise, I’m not keeping anything down that night.
At Disney theme parks, I don’t mind this aspect of Avatar Flight of Passage, and Star Tours really doesn’t get to me, either.
However, friends often tell me that they struggle the most with Star Tours.
The sudden lurching combined with the loose seatbelts can lead to plenty of tossing to and fro.
I never get bothered by it, probably because I’m spending too much time thinking about how little I like Star Wars, especially the post-1983 stuff.
My friends who are Star Wars fans actively avoid Star Tours because of the potential motion sickness, though.
Hilariously, I’m the one trying to talk them into riding because I think it’s fun.
Twilight Zone Tower of Terror
Here’s another one that you knew would be on here. The sudden lurching of the Tower of Terror can wipe out even the best of us.
More remarkably, the randomness of the ride prevents guests from anticipating whether they’re going up or down.
You’re left guessing, with a 50/50 chance of being right. If you brace for the wrong kind of movement, you’ll feel double the wallop with the sensation.
I find the whole sensation mesmerizing and never can get enough of it. However, I’ve always watched people throw up during and after the ride.
The post-ride vomit is gross, but I’m here to tell you that the zero-gravity one is not something anybody wants to watch. The vomits just…hangs there.
So, which of these nine Disney attractions is most likely to kick your tail? Let us know in the comments!
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Feature Photo: Disney