Six Terrible Disney Theme Park Mistakes I Just Made
I just got back from Walt Disney World, and let me tell you! It did not go well.
Don’t get me wrong. I had a magical vacation, just as I always do.
Photo:visitorlando.com
For whatever reason, I messed up much more often than usual during my trip, though.
So, I’ve put them together as a list of my theme park crimes. Here are six terrible Disney theme park mistakes to make.
Angering the Stroller Gods
Photo: Disneyplanning.com
Let’s start with the funniest mistake of the batch, one that’s beyond your control.
Anyone who has ever visited a Disney theme park knows the deal here. Strollers are power at the parks. They’re just like great blocking in football.
When you have a stroller, you’ve got an offensive line ready to keep the defense at bay.
Photo: Amazon
The problem is that when you lack a stroller, you ARE the defense.
Angry, tired parents use their strollers as weapons. I mean often and with intent.
Photo: Amazon
It’s very much that Rocky meme of, “If he dies, he dies.” They’ll come right at you.
At Disney, much of your luck depends on whether you have appeased the stroller gods. Should you fall short in this task, you will be accosted by strollers all day long.
Seriously, I got broadsided like eight times during my most recent trip.
Strollers
My wife started joking that I must be wearing a bullseye that only tired parents can see.
They treated me like a bonus level on Toy Story Mania!, and there was nothing I could do.
The lesson to be learned here is simple. Avoid strollers at all costs.
You’d be stunned by how many parents are willing to risk childhood CTE. They’re going from Point A to Point B, and if a crash occurs, their plan is simple.
They presume they’ll come across better with a jury than you will.
Crisscrossing the Parks
Hollywood Studios Crowds
I stress this advice whenever I discuss any number of Disney park strategies.
Despite this fact, it turns out that I’m quite hypocritical on the point. I don’t know what was wrong with us last time, but I repeatedly made this mistake.
At Disney’s Hollywood Studios, we crisscrossed the central area like 12 times.
Disney’s Hollywood Studios
I wish I were joking. It got embarrassing after a while once we realized what was happening.
For whatever reason, we just couldn’t avoid it due to Lightning Lanes.
We’d book a new one, inevitably causing us to backtrack across the same path.
The easy way to avoid this is just not to buy Lightning Lane. That’s a whole different topic, though. Even when you own Lightning Lane, you can still sidestep this one by planning ahead.
We had a very restrictive itinerary on this particular day and didn’t have many choices.
The various rides and show-based attractions all took us through the heart of the park.
So, we got intimately familiar with the Walt Disney World 50 gold statues.
Photo: Disney
They’re still up, and they trigger a MagicBand+ each you walk by them.
Yes, Disney weirdly punished me for poor planning by vibrating my arm every few minutes.
Magic Kingdom crowds on August 7th
To a larger point, it was scorching hot on this particular date.
When you crisscross the parks, you dehydrate, fatigue, and starve yourself needlessly.Just have a plan and stick to it. You’ll be fine. I simply ignored my own rules.
Ignoring Wait Times
Photo: Disney
Here’s one that drives me to distraction because I overheard guests describing their days.
They talk about waiting an hour in line for rides that should NOT take that long.Not enough Disney theme park guests check the My Disney Experience app.
Honestly, you don’t even need to do that at the parks these days.
Disney
Disney also posts digital displays at various locations around the parks.
Each of them lists the various wait times at the moment, which makes this advice easy to follow.
Just look up! Glance around when you walk through the main paths at the parks.You may realize a digital monitor is giving you all the information you need.
Photo: Disney
If you can’t find one, simply grab your phone and load the My Disney Experience app. On the attractions page, display them by list to see all the wait times in order.
Pick the ride you want to ride the most that has the shortest wait time at that moment. Whatever you do, NEVER pick the one with the longest wait! Save it for later.
Disney
If push comes to shove, you can do it right before the park closes.
The wait won’t be as long then because Cast Members are trying to rush guests out the door.
Losing Your Cool over the Little Stuff
Disney
We witnessed two more overly dramatic meltdowns during our trip.
Neither one of them was as egregious as the one from a previous trip.
On that night, two siblings got into a screaming match with one exiting the line.
The poor mother just wanted to ride Mickey & Minnie’s Runaway Railway. They could see the entrance when they realized they had to exit the line.
This sort of thing happens more often than you think due to the reason I just mentioned.
Disney
People get tired, cranky, and dehydrated at the parks. It makes them moody.
And there’s no tantrum like a hangry tantrum among family members. Suddenly, all recent transgressions come to light in a fit of rage. It’s unpleasant to watch.
The worst part is that it’s all so avoidable. Just take more breaks!
You’re at the Most Magical Place on Earth. Everywhere you look, there’s fun to be had.
Rather than pushing yourself when you’re feeling low, do the exact opposite. I know that grace under pressure is a skill not everyone has, but just a little bit goes a long way.
As long as you’re not screaming at your traveling party in front of strangers, you’re fine.
I’d even take passive-aggressive over aggressive-aggressive.
Skipping Early Theme Park Entry
Early Theme Park Entry
When you stay at an official Disney resort, you earn a remarkable amenity.
You can enter the park 30 minutes before it officially opens to the general public.
Space Mountain line
Sometimes, Disney even lets you earlier than that, depending on the park’s readiness.
On one of our days, we were in the park at 7:10 on a day that it opened at 8 a.m. We’d already ridden the park’s most popular ride that day by the time it officially opened.
A friend met us that morning, but she wasn’t staying on-site. So, she did Rope Drop.
We actually had to wait 20 minutes for her to reach us. That’s how far ahead we already were.
Early Theme Park Entry
Early Theme Park Entry absolutely will start your day on the right foot.
We did it every day but one during our trip, and it worked fabulously every time. I know that we’d all prefer to sleep in on vacation, but Early Theme Park Entry is too good to ignore.
Staying in the Sun for Too Long
I hinted at this earlier, but it bears repeating. Walt Disney World has reached the point where it’s hot from April through October. That’s most of the year when you need to be thinking about your health.
The good thing about Central Florida is that it’s prone to clouds and rain.
Photo: orlandoattractions.com
Should you visit on an especially sunny day, the heat may wear you down, though.
So, I strongly encourage you to avoid standing outside for extended periods. My family’s rule of thumb is that we always follow an outdoor attraction with an indoor one.
Going to an indoor restaurant works well, too. Just don’t spend five or six straight hours in the sun.
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Feature Photo: Disney
