Hey, Disney! Please Improve This Tech!

In case you haven’t been keeping up, Disney theme parks have gotten better recently.

Specifically, Disney has enhanced a few core features of My Disney Experience.

In particular, the dining options on the app have significantly improved.

Still, a couple of pieces of software lag far behind the rest.

Hey, Disney, please improve this tech! It’s inexcusable how underdeveloped this app is.

Identifying the Problem

Bob Chapek min-maxed his way to the top of The Walt Disney Company’s food chain.

The former CEO at Disney used the theme parks as a stepping stone to total power.

As the Chairman of what we now call Disney Experiences, Chapek monetized the parks to an unprecedented degree.

Frankly, his skill in this area underscores just how poorly Disney had done before him.

Under Chapek and his successor, Josh D’Amaro, the parks division has become the golden goose at Disney.

Most of the company’s operating income comes from Disney Experiences.

Somehow, Disney’s empire includes four cores, yet the parks carry the financial load.

So, that’s the how and why of Chapek’s ascension to CEO at Disney.

Despite his revenue-generating acumen, Chapek never seemed to have a strong handle on the parks themselves.

Sure, the executive could squeeze an endless stream of money from loyal park guests.

However, finding ways to enhance the various park experiences largely eluded him.

Most of the most successful projects during his tenure had already started before he arrived.

In truth, his predecessor, Thomas O. Staggs, deserves much of the credit for many of your favorites.

Pandora – The World of Avatar and Toy Story Land started during his watch.

Plans were already underway for a Star Wars-themed land as well. Staggs understood the creative part.

Chapek arrived in 2015 and quickly monetized everything, much to the chagrin of Disney fans.

His leadership style bleeds over into the problem app we’re about to discuss.

This product sounds good in theory, but its execution is lacking. That’s Chapek’s tenure in a nutshell.

However, since the idea itself IS good, it’s both salvageable as long as Disney commits to the process.

Let’s discuss the lacking tech and what Disney can do to fix it.

Disney Genie

Honestly, if Disney removed Disney Genie from My Disney Experience today, would anyone notice?

This app is supposed to work as a functional assistant for theme park visitors.

Ostensibly, you should only need Disney Genie to handle everything about your Disney trip.

Once you walk into the park, you should be able to pull up Disney Genie and let it guide you every step.

In practice, anyone who does that is in more danger than Ralph Wiggum. It’s the quickest way to ruin a visit.

As a software product, Disney Genie has the intellect of, well, Ralph Wiggum. It’s the scary kind of dumb.

I vividly remember the fear that some trip advisors had in the days leading up to the app’s launch.

They worried that if Disney Genie achieved all its grand promises, they’d be out of a job.

Once those same Disney insiders tried the app for the first time, the sense of relief was palpable.

You shouldn’t even trust Disney Genie to tell you the location of the nearest bathroom.

If you do, I sure hope you’re wearing an adult diaper because it’s about to get messy.

The Disney Genie app lacks any sort of spatial or temporal awareness, which is problematic.

Let’s say that you hired a real-life assistant to guide you around Disney.

You’d expect them to know the best route to your destination, right? And you’d hope they wouldn’t waste your time.

Sadly, Disney Genie goes 0 for 2 on this front, demonstrating zero utility on either front.

Sometime, for fun, I encourage you to ask Disney Genie to plan your park visit.

Then, while you’re at the park, ignore it completely other than to check in when you need a laugh. It’s that bad.

#One Job

 

Something got lost in the shuffle during the design of this app.

Disney fell into the marketing trap that ensnares so many tech companies.

 

Chapek and his team made big promises about what Disney Genie would do.

Then, when the company released the app, it committed the cardinal sin in tech.

The software overpromised but underdelivered. I’d argue it’s not even really a functional deliverable.

At its core, Disney Genie should be able to schedule an on-the-fly itinerary for any park guest.

Whether you show up at Rope Drop or two hours before closing, your Genie should fulfill your wishes.

Theoretically, you should be able to list the attractions you want to experience.

Then, Disney Genie should be able to display a detailed schedule, along with the ability to adjust as needed.

Technically, Disney Genie does that…but in the same way that you can use a bicycle to travel to Las Vegas.

You’ll die of either heat stroke or dehydration long before you reach your destination.

Similarly, your park visit will end LONG before Disney Genie gets you to your desired attractions.

Here’s why that’s especially frustrating. Several websites and apps can do this.

You can grab your phone right now and find a very good software product to satisfy your needs.

These products come from third-party vendors who don’t have access to Disney’s treasure trove of private data.

So, why are the outsiders able to provide a better itinerary than Disney?

Fixing Disney Genie

The answer is simple: Disney built this app based on its business interests rather than the customer’s needs.

The problem with that sort of greedy decision is that we the customers are smart enough to figure that out.

What do we do? We stop using the app. And that’s what has happened here.

Seriously, visit any Disney community you know online and ask a simple question.

“When was the last time you used Disney Genie?” Your poll results will be staggering.

The only people who use this app are the ones brand new to Disney and too trusting of marketing.

Even they quickly realize that Disney Genie is more treacherous than a Saja Boy.

Park guests simply cannot trust Disney Genie to cater to our best interests.

So, how does Disney fix that? Well, it’s simple, but it’ll require a philosophical change.

Disney must commit resources to overhauling the app entirely…and buy overhauling, I mean nuking it from orbit.

There’s very little usable in the current product. Disney might as well start from scratch.

However Josh D’Amaro and his team approach the situation, the path is clear.

Disney must redesign this app as a product with a customer focus. It needs to live up to its billing.

The company should know everything Disney Genie should do, too. They were the ones who proclaimed its greatness.

Please Improve This Tech

Now, the app seems like something akin to a beta, but it’s almost vaporware.

What Disney released bears no similarity to what the company promised.

Thus, the path is clear. We need a virtual assistant that will actually assist us during our park visit.

This product should be able to tell us the best times to experience attractions and eat meals.

It should know the times when we’ll get tired and build in rest periods and snack suggestions.

Long story short, it should be able to do what apps like Siri and Alexa have done for years.

Disney Genie should be improving our lives rather than actively sabotaging our vacation.

Right now, this tech is so bad that Disney shouldn’t even associate its name with the product.

That fact alone should kick D’Amaro in the pride and push him to do what Chapek didn’t: make Disney Genie viable.

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Feature Photo: Disney