Things I Plan to Try on My Next Disney Cruise

Ten weeks ago, I was luxuriating aboard the Disney Dream… and I miss it.

In the real world, I have to fend for myself at lunch and dinner time.

(Photo credit: Ihor Koptilin)

Also, I don’t live by the ocean, which I appreciate during a hurricane but not when I’m missing a tan.

That’s why I’m already shopping for my next Disney cruise.

Credit: Disney

Here are six things I plan to try on my next Disney Cruise Line vacation.

Bingo

Photo: KHOU

I’m not old enough to spend all my time in a Bingo hall yet, I swear.

I can still hold my own in Halo Team Slayer, and until that changes, I’m not gonna be a Bingo guy… except on a Disney cruise.

Photo: Disney / BlueyTV

You kind of have to be there to understand it, but these events build quite the buzz when you’re on the ship.

Disney pays real money for Bingo winners, and the setup isn’t the old-timey type you’d expect.

You may picture blue-haired women spilling the tea about the new neighbors. Disney Bingo isn’t like that.

You get a tablet, multiple cards, and a competitive spirit.

Photo: Getty

Seriously, people on the cruise WANT to win at Bingo. It’s important.

They literally pay to play, as Bingo isn’t free. That’s how the cruise can pay out several thousand dollars in prize money.

Photo: vecteezy.com

You heard me correctly. Some of the prize values are in the thousands.

Some lucky guests leave a Disney cruise with more money than when they booked. I want that to be me.

Door Decor

Photo: Disney

When it comes to interior design, my fashion statement is basically blank walls and primer paint.

I’m not quite the Jason Mendoza 12-year-old boy meets 13-year-old boy type, but I haven’t evolved much beyond it either.

(Kent Phillips, photographer)

Anything I put on the wall now is just something I’ll have to take down later, doubling my effort. That’s how I usually feel.

Then, I saw the cabin doors on my deck.

Cruise critic

Several frequent cruise aficionados had decorated their doors with Disney magnets.

You can bring your own, or you can buy them at the gift shop.

By doing so, you personalize your cabin door in a way that will make you happy every time you see it.

This seems like a good time to mention that I went back into my cabin about eight times daily during my trip, so I robbed myself of about 40 different magnet sightings.

Snow Globe

Next time, I’m going to bring so many magnets, they’re going to stop me at customs.

More Shows

Disney

If I wanted to see The Little Mermaid on Broadway, it’d cost me, you know, Broadway ticket prices.

Also, The Little Mermaid closed in 2012, so I’d need a time machine, too.

Disney

Instead, I could sail on the Disney Wish, which hosts a Broadway-quality version of The Little Mermaid.

This is one of several shows you’ll find on Disney Cruise Line, with most ships offering three different shows.

Photo: Matt Stroshane/Disney

Some of them are exclusive to the ship, like Disney the Tale of Moana.

You’ll find others on multiple ships, as they’ve long since stopped being exclusives. The story is the same with all of them.

Disney

The quality of these productions surpasses anything else in the cruise industry.

So, as we make our way around the various cruise ships, my wife and I look forward to watching all the amazing Disney shows.

Popcorn and a Movie

Disney Treasure

I actually did a little bit of this during my last cruise by accident. My wife and I briefly separated, and I couldn’t find her.

I panicked and ducked into the movie theater.

Photo: Marvel

I guessed that since we used to run a movie website together, that was where she would look. Boy, was I wrong.

She was off doing very Disney stuff on the Disney cruise, and frankly didn’t need me showing up and bothering her.

Photo: Marvel

For me, the experience was surreal in the best possible way.

I entered during the climactic moments of Captain America: Brave New World, a movie I had just seen in theaters the previous month.

DCL

That’s one of the brilliant parts of Disney cruises. They have full-sized movie theaters, the kind you’d find at your local cineplex.

Even better, these theaters show first-run movies. In other words, they show the Disney films that you can currently watch in movie theaters.

Photo: Disney

When we were on our cruise, Snow White had been released the previous week.

I love the idea of watching a brand-new Disney movie while I’m in the ocean.

Photo: Disney

Just imagine how great it would have been to watch Avengers: Endgame with a crowd on a Disney Cruise.

I hope to have an experience like that someday.

Room Service

Okay, I know this one sounds ridiculous to anyone who has ever taken a Disney cruise. Bear with me for a second.

I am a very picky eater. Also, I eat more desserts than most people drink glasses of coffee.

Palo Steakhouse Brunch

I’m at high levels of sugar rush at this point, the kind that would make Vanellope von Schweetz say, “Respect.”

When I’m in line at the buffet, I struggle to pick the perfect dessert.

Double Blueberry Cheesecake – Worlds of Marvel: Groot Remix on the Disney Treasure

I don’t want to stand in the way of other hungry diners, so I tend to haphazardly grab something.

Then, during rotational dining, I would certainly never ask for seconds.

DCL

The servers point in your direction and whisper when you do that.

That’s what makes room service so amazing on a Disney cruise.

DCL

You can order what you want when you want it.

They will bring it to you 24/7… literally, not figuratively.

Daisy’s Pizza Pies

So, let me be clear. The next time I’m on a cruise, I’m ordering a pepperoni pizza and three ice cream sundaes at 5 a.m.

I will vomit the rest of the day, and I don’t care.

This is my right as a paying customer and I plan to exercise it.

Theme Park Trivia

If you’ll excuse a bit of bragging, I returned from my Disney cruise sporting a movie music trivia medal.

I shouldn’t be proud of this, as it was kind of a jerk move on my part.

In addition to running a former movie site, I also ran a movie trivia site.

So, I was the breathing definition of a ringer at this event.

Of course, if it helps, I missed an Aerosmith/Armageddon question, and the shame of this haunts me.

Next time, in an attempt to be fair to the competition, I’ll choose theme park trivia instead.

Image: The Healthy Mouse

Now, you’re probably thinking, “Hey, don’t you write about theme parks and trivia all the time?”

My curt reply is, “Look, I just like trivia, okay?”

If you want to win your own medal, just take a different cruise than me.

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Feature Photo: DCL