Answering a Few Questions About My First Disney Cruise
We’ve been home from our cruise for about a month, and I think I’ve seen every member of my family since then.
As the people who know me best, they’ve understandably got plenty of questions, as I spent most of the pandemic swearing I’d never go on a cruise.
Now, I’m 100 percent a cruise person. So, my loved ones have gotten whiplash from how quickly I reversed positions on this subject.
Today, I’m answering a few questions about my first Disney cruise.
What Did You Do?
DCL
That’s a relatively open-ended question, but the implication is that many people don’t really know what you do on a cruise.
Until you’ve been on one, it’s challenging to conceptualize. Like, a cruise ship is basically a giant city floating at sea. What do you do all day?
Photo: Disney Cruise Line
In our case, the time flew by as we found ourselves honoring the wisdom of Shakira. We tried everything.
We went to both of Disney’s private islands – Spoiler: they’re spectacular! – and we watched every show that we could.
While on the boat, I rode the Aquaduck a comically large number of times, as I’m as shameless a tourist as the human condition allows.
We also hustled some people at movie music trivia – we’ve run a movie trivia site for about 15 years – and have the first place medal to prove it.
Anytime we noticed a character greeting, we happily stood in line and did it, no matter how ridiculous my hair looked.
During our cruise, we also explored every nook and cranny of the ship, happily getting lost on several occasions.
Navigating a ship this size takes some adjusting, and that’s before I factor in the fact that I still don’t know which one’s aft and which one’s forward.
More importantly, we relaxed, we swam, we sunbathed, we read, we napped, and we ate like royalty. Speaking of which…
Did You Eat Okay?
Photo: Disney
I may be the first person ever to take a cruise who was asked this question sincerely rather than facetiously.
In case you haven’t read my previous comments, I’ve got a super-weird medical thing wherein I’m allergic to, well, everything but mold.
Seriously, I went to an allergist, I took every test possible, and that was my result.
Simultaneously, I’m on a strict diet caused by some chest inflammation that’s just a minor aggravation I have to live with.
Photo: Disney Parks Blog
So, my diet at home would blow your mind because it’s so bland and repetitive.
Everyone who knows me quickly wondered whether I’d have any success finding enough to eat on the cruise.
That’s hilarious to anyone who has ever been on a cruise, as it’s like Foodie Heaven for most people.
Well, I’m happy to report that I was one of them during this trip, mainly because the rotational dining worked perfectly for my wife and my needs.
We loved that we had a table reserved every night, knew who our server would be, and could just relax throughout the meals.
Our servers quickly identified the foods that would work with my dietary restraints and even took the time to adjust the bread service.
They quickly deduced that I wasn’t a fan of hard bread. Without my even mentioning it, they started serving me soft bread instead.
Apparently, when you leave food on the plate on a Disney cruise, everyone notices and presumes you’re not happy. They care that much!
Of course, I didn’t even need the rotational dining restaurants to be happy.
The 11th-floor buffet delighted us so much that if we had something like this at home, I’d eat there every day.
Palo Steakhouse
Oh, and Palo served us one of the best meals I’ve ever had in my life.
How Was the Cabin?
Photo: Disney
There’s a subtle implication to this question. It’s that I’m one of those people who has been called Lurch a few times over the years.
You may not get that reference, but Lurch was the ginormous butler in The Addams Family television show and movies.
Wikipedia
People get called Lurch when they’re tall and goofy-looking, which I most assuredly am. So, the thought of me in a tiny cabin amused my ‘ohana.
Well, there are two answers to this question, one of which everyone should understand.
Disney Treasure Stateroom Bunk Bed
The first is that if you’re hanging out in your room a lot during a Disney cruise, you’re doing it wrong.
Honestly, the only reason why anyone would do that is because they’re seasick.
At this point, most people know to take motion sickness pills on a cruise just for this reason, which we did.
Anyway, the point was that we were generally only in our room when we were sleeping, napping, or showering/dressing for the next thing.
Our schedule proved hectic, and we happily added to our itinerary throughout the trip.
When we were in the room, I found the space completely comfortable, though.
Disney’s brilliant designers thought of everything in maximizing the space.
Due to the sheer volume of storage, we managed to unpack everything and then store our luggage under the bed.
Photo: Disney Cruise Line
So, I felt like we had an easier time in the cabin than in many hotel rooms I’ve stayed in…and I’m saying that as someone who has worked in the hotel industry.
The split bathrooms allow one person to shower and get ready in room while the other uses the other.
Photo: Disney
Also, we had a Verandah with a balcony. I quickly decided that I’ll only book this room type from now on, as I found the experience serene.
We would sit outside on the balcony and listen to the sounds of the ocean. I’ve never been more relaxed in my life.
How Was the WiFi?
Photo: Playbuzz.com
This question is the one I’ve been asked the most since my return, which reflects where we’re all at as a society now.
The thought of unplugging from the internet creates a sense of dread rivaled only by the feeling of going online and doomscrolling for 20 minutes.
Photo: Computer Hope
Neither of these options is ideal, yet many of us think this way…and I’m one of them.
Throughout the 21st century, I’d qualify for the “Go Touch Grass” Hall of Fame.
Photo: DVC
That’s why I’m a bit bemused by what I’m about to say here. Our internet experience wasn’t the greatest.
Disney thoughtfully included our internet free of charge, and a couple of well-informed Cast Members even set up our service.
Photo:seoclerk.com
For whatever reason, we didn’t have much luck using it for anything other than Disney Cruise Line Navigator.
Similarly, while our internet provider assured us that we’d have no problem getting a connection in The Bahamas, that didn’t work, either.
Photo:Rappler
Since then, Pearl Members have informed us that we apparently had bad luck. They have the same internet as us, and it works fine for them.
Here’s the thing, though. The Navigator app was really all we needed.
(Kent Phillips, photographer)
My wife and I are extreme workaholics, and we rarely unplug. During our vacation, the lack of internet provided a lovely escape for us.
I’ve even decided that the whole “touch grass” thing isn’t even the right suggestion. We should be telling people, “Go touch sand.” Sand is better.
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Feature Photo: DCL
