Mickey Madness Round One

Welcome to the opening round of Mickey Madness!

We revealed the 64-attraction bracket recently, and I warned you at the time that round one would be chalky.

Honestly, you wouldn’t want it any other way. Like, could you argue with a straight face that Wildlife Express Train should win?

The reality is that there’s a clear divide between Disney’s top 40 attractions and the other 24.

If there weren’t, I’d have done the seedings wrong. That’s my word of warning that this round will favor the favorites.

After that, you’ll find plenty of surprises deeper in the tournament.

Still, a few favorites won’t survive day one. So, let’s discuss round one of Mickey Madness.

We’re taking our first giant step toward determining the best Walt Disney World attraction of them all!

About the Pods

I don’t mean to sound like Joe Lunardi here, but I should probably explain what pods are.

A 64-team tournament breaks into several smaller pieces.

These individual segments of four teams are called pods. So, we’ll have eight pods in round one, four in round two, and so forth.

The idea with your bracket is to survive and advance. As long as you don’t lose, anything is possible.

When you lose, you’re out of the tournament, which makes the matchups critical to determining an attraction’s success.

For example, Space Mountain will win any matchup against one of the Disney transportation rides…except the PeopleMover.

A battle between Space Mountain and the PeopleMover would at least give some of us pause, right?

But Space Mountain versus Walt Disney World Railroad, Main Street Vehicles, or Wildlife Express Train is like a bye, right?

So, this tournament works just like March Madness, where Duke and Auburn would run roughshod over most teams.

When you place them in the same pod as a team that matches up well against Cooper Flagg or John Broome, it’s different.

The East Region

Okay, I’ll go ahead and tell you that the biggest upset is a ten seed over a seven seed.

Frankly, I could have controlled that by intentionally underrating a few attractions.

However, I resisted that temptation for the integrity of the rankings, which immediately causes me problems right now.

For the sake of simplicity, I’m turning the four-team pods into pairs.

So, we’re breaking down the round one results, a total of 32 matchups, into four sections. Here’s the East Region.

In basketball terms, Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance would beat Main Street Vehicles by 70 points.

Magic Carpets of Aladdin is similarly not a threat to “it’s a small world,” although Dumbo the Flying Elephant may have been.

That’s the matchup aspect I was just referencing, and Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, the three seed, catches a break.

We seeded Tomorrowland Speedway before several show-based attractions for a reason. It’s…meh.

Tiana, which I consider underrated with its seeding, faces a brutal matchup with Turtle Talk with Crush, the best 13 seed. Still, Tiana wins.

Conversely, Soarin’ draws a weaker matchup with my beloved but long-in-the-tooth Indiana Jones Adventure.

Na’vi River Journey doesn’t face much competition with Living with the Land, either.

But now we finally get to the upsets! The ten seed, Alien Swirling Saucers, is better than Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith.

Before you try to argue the point, I’ll point out that if the roller coaster were so great, Disney wouldn’t be re-theming it!

Thin? Maybe. But I flat out prefer Alien Swirling Saucers, over the aging Aerosmith ride.

Similarly, Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin is a lot of fun and a worthy eight seed.

However, I favor the slightly lower seed, Under the Sea ~ Journey of the Little Mermaid. This dark ride tells its story well.

Besides, I suck at Space Ranger Spin, which makes me resent it a little. So, that leaves us with our first pod results. Take a look!

The West Region

Now we get to the West bracket in NCAA Tournament terms. This is home to the worst of the one seeds, Tron. Here’s the bracket:

Obviously, Tron isn’t going to lose, nor is Pirates of the Caribbean, which hilariously beats Tom Sawyer Island in a fitting matchup.

Frankly, Tom Sawyer Island probably didn’t belong in the brackets, but since we’re losing it soon, I was sentimental.

The three seed, Frozen Ever After, definitely isn’t losing this early, nor is Kilimanjaro Safaris.

I really wanted a five seed to lose to a 12 seed since that’s a thing that happens annually in the NCAA Tournament.

Alas, Mickey & Minnie’s Runaway Railway is far too strong for Figment.

And even though Big Thunder Mountain Railroad is currently down right now, there’s no way I could put Carousel of Progress above it.

Then, we have the 7/10 and 8/9 matchups. Once again, these are eerily close.

Which one would you pick between the iconic Mad Tea Party and the delightful The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh?

This one was a coin flip, but we ultimately settled on Winnie the Pooh.

Along those lines, DINOSAUR versus Festival of the Lion King is almost impossible to compare.

Under the same logic as Aerosmith, my beloved DINOSAUR had to lose, though. Ah, well. Festival of the Lion King advances.

So, that leaves us with this as the updated West bracket:

The South Bracket

Okay, by this point, you understand how this works. So, here are the South bracket’s 16 attractions:

As you might imagine, Avatar Flight of Passage is bulletproof.

Meanwhile, not many people would pick the Hall of Presidents over Haunted Mansion.

I enjoy the historical impact of the elderly Jungle Cruise and the absolutely ancient Prince Charming Regal Carrousel.

Then, we have the visual spectacles of Astro Orbiter and Slinky Dog Dash matching up nicely. But the favorites prevail both times.

I’ll confess we had no idea how to compare the abstract nature of Journey of Water | Inspired by Moana versus Expedition Everest.

Since Slinky Dog Dash and Expedition Everest are more fun, we went with them…but Journey of Water is pretty great.

My sentimentality encourages me to vote for Muppet*Vision 3D over Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run.

But I’ve had enough run-ins with Star Wars fans over the years. I guess I’ll take my chances with Jim Henson fans.

They seem like more reasonable people. Oops, I did it again.

Anyway, the 7/10 matchup is one that made us wonder if we’d screwed up the seeding here. I suspect we might have.

I suspect most people believe that the PeopleMover is better than Mission: SPACE. So, the favorite wins.

Then, we have the Frozen Sing-Along at Disney’s Hollywood Studios versus The Seas with Nemo & Friends.

For us, this was the hardest call during the first round. We went back and forth on it before settling on Nemo.

If you disagree, I totally get it. Frozen is right there with Mickey’s PhilharMagic as Disney World’s best show. But we love Nemo!

So, that sets up the South region’s second round as:

The Midwest Region

Now, we reach the final and most boring region. Let’s glance at the Midwest bracket:

Cosmic Rewind and Space Mountain’s matchups simply aren’t competitive.

Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room would have matched up well with a few attractions due to its historical importance.

But Space Mountain can match it in that area and easily beats it in every other way.

I’d like to give It’s Tough to Be a Bug! a win here at the end, but…Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. So, no.

Meanwhile, Spaceship Earth gets the best possible matchup against Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor, which it just crushes.

Remy’s Ratatouille Adventure vs. Enchanted Tales with Belle was the first matchup in this bracket that even merited debate.

And that one didn’t take long. It’s Ratatouille.

Then, we have the ascendant Country Bear Musical Jamboree, which could beat some other attractions.

Unfortunately, the new show drew Toy Story Mania!, and it can’t win that.

The 7/10 matchup gave us brief pause, as Gran Fiesta Tour is wildly underrated. Still, it’s not as significant as Peter Pan’s Flight.

That leaves us with Mickey’s PhilharMagic vs. Star Tours, which is basically Disney vs. Star Wars. I pick Star Wars ever time.

So, here’s the depressing outcome of the Midwest bracket:

Yes, every favorite won in this bracket. It’s entirely chalk. On the bright side, that leads to some tasty second round matchups.

That’s our story for the round two discussion, and I’m really looking forward to it.

So, check back tomorrow to find out who makes the Sweet 16 in Mickey Madness!

Thanks for visiting MickeyBlog.com! Want to go to Disney? For a FREE quote on your next Disney vacation, please fill out the form below, and one of the agents from MickeyTravels, a Diamond Level Authorized Disney Vacation Planner, will be in touch soon!