Fine. I’ll Admit It. I Won’t Miss DinoLand USA.
January 12th means the end for certain attractions at DinoLand, USA.
Disney is about to begin construction in earnest on the upcoming Tropical Americas, the themed land replacing DinoLand.


Photo: Disney
By the time you read this, TriceraTop Spin is no more. By the end of the year, the area’s best attraction, DINOSAUR, will be gone, too.
Right now, plenty of people are decrying the loss of the child-friendly themed land.


Photo: Disney
I don’t want to negate their feelings on the subject, as I’m glad they enjoyed this area, but I have a different opinion.
Fine. I’ll admit it. I won’t miss DinoLand USA. I know I’m not supposed to say that, but it’s really, really true.
A Brief History of Animal Kingdom


Animal Kingdom entrance
When Imagineers planned Disney’s Animal Kingdom, they faced constant criticism.
The vast majority of casual theme park observers believed it was an impossible endeavor.


Animal Kingdom
Even though Disney is long-established as the child-friendly brand in entertainment and theme parks, few had faith in the company.
Instead, they believed that a Disney zoo disguised as a theme park was doomed to fail.
The smell alone would prove decidedly un-Disney. After all, animals feel nature’s call as well.
Disney couldn’t hide that odor or the visual of the animals releasing their bowels.
So, many swore that Animal Kingdom would prove to be Disney’s least successful park.
Please remember that they were saying this at a time when Disney’s Hollywood Studios and Disneyland Paris had just struggled.
Both parks faced uphill battles to regain public trust after a shaky start. Faith in Disney theme parks was at an all-time low.
Then, when Animal Kingdom debuted, Disney earned an industry-wide mea culpa from its critics. It had done the impossible.
Animal Kingdom proved a joy to visit, and there weren’t any issues with unpleasant odors.
Disney had hired the finest zoologists in the world, and they solved all the problems save for one: the budget.


Photo: Disney
Animal Kingdom suffered last-minute budget cuts, which forced the delay and de facto elimination of one themed land, Beastly Kingdom.
Another faced a financial shortfall that led to its odd half-life, and that place was DinoLand USA.


Photo: Walt Disney World
For many years, critics have cynically dismissed this themed land as a glorified carnival experience, which is arguably the point.
Still, the shortcomings of the park are hard to overlook. It just seems…cheap by Disney standards, probably because it was.
A Brief History of DinoLand USA


(Disney)
I’m confident Joe Rohde would slap me for saying so, but I’m not convinced there was ever really a plan for DinoLand USA.
My suspicion is that the plan, as it were, involved someone in a boardroom saying, “We should sell dinosaur toys to kids.”


Disney
The “we’d make a ton of money” semi-joking logic may be based on real events.
Disney was working on its first digital film at the time, one named…Dinosaur.
You may think that’s how the best ride at DinoLand USA got its name. And you’d be half-right.
For reasons passing understanding, even though Dinosaur the movie had been underway since 1996, that wasn’t the ride’s name at first.
Instead, when Animal Kingdom debuted in 1998, arguably its only thrill ride was Countdown to Extinction.
What’s different about that ride from the current DINOSAUR? You tell me:
Yes, even the introductory video hasn’t changed, just the name and 25 years of various quality-of-life updates.
As a marketing tie-in, Countdown to Extinction changed to DINOSAUR in 2000, and that’s what we’ve called it since then.
I consider DINOSAUR the one saving grace of an otherwise decidedly un-Disney themed land.


DINOSAUR
Here’s a New York Times article from Animal Kingdom’s opening week.
You’ll notice countless discussions regarding the animals in this 1,700-word article.
Here’s the one quote about anything DinoLand-related: “The park has high-tech offerings like a thrill ride with a dinosaur theme and a 3-D movie on insects.”
Yes, in 1998, It’s Tough to Be a Bug! merited the same level of intrigue as the entirety of DinoLand USA.


Photo: Disney
The animals were the primary draw of the park. DinoLand USA was then and always has been filler.
Why I Won’t Miss DinoLand USA
Here’s a video that 4K WDW has posted. I’ve time-stamped it so that you can notice the cracks in the pavement:
That’s the distraction here, as Disney could have taken better care of the area. It never bothered for a good reason.


Creature Comforts
The target demographic for this land is pretty much everyone from the diaper crowd to eight years old.
So, that’s where your real focus should be. Notice the merchandise stands, the signage and other factors.


Photo: Playbuzz.com
If Disney built a themed land like this today, how much would fans decry the state of Imagineering? It’s a bush league spot.
We ignore this because DinoLand has always served its purpose.
Tired parents take their kids here and let them play with the carnival toys and dig in The Boneyard for an hour.
Animal Kingdom is by far the most physically challenging of all Disney parks.
Parents need a break after pushing strollers for hours. Conversely, kids are a natural high from meeting cuddly animals.
So, the purpose of DinoLand is to fatigue these children to the point that they’ll nap some and give their parents a calmer evening.
Disney got that part right. Anyone who has spent any time at DinoLand knows this place as an outdoor kindergarten class.
Still, other than DINOSAUR, the other attractions here are shoddy and always have been.


Photo: Disney Wiki
Disney mercifully killed Primeval Whirl a few years ago, and I’ve literally never heard anybody say they miss it.
The same statement will apply to TriceraTop Spin from now on.


Triceratop Spin
Yes, Donald’s Dino-Land Bash is fun, but Disney could do something like that anywhere.
Overall, nothing here other than DINOSAUR is in any way memorable, though.
Something Better Is Coming


Photo: Disney
I know that for some parents, that’s an antagonistic thing to say. You likely have several memories of your kids playing here.
My counter to that is that you can still remind your kids about those moments when you’re standing in the same area.


Photo: Disney
The difference is that you’ll be inside the Tropical Americas, a VASTLY superior version of the same concept.
Rather than a hodgepodge of vague, cheap dinosaur installations, it’ll be a fully detailed exploration of the world of Encanto.


Photo: Disney
You’ll enter the village that’s home to Casita Madrigal and explore all the dining and shopping options.
Meanwhile, your children will play on the colorful, immaculately detailed carousel and excitedly roam the grounds.
This place will be decidedly Disney, something DinoLand USA never was. And that’s reason enough for me to happily say goodbye.
The mere possibility of the Tropical Americas supersedes anything I’ve found at DinoLand USA…except for DINOSAUR.


DINOSAUR
I’m one of the few Disney fans who proudly admit that I’ll really miss DINOSAUR.
Everything else at DinoLand USA does nothing for me.
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