Dear Disney: Please Fix These Theme Park Problems
I recently wrote about how the magic remains at Disney theme parks.
That’s a statement I fervently believe, and it’s based on my recent park experiences compared to some during the pandemic.
Cinderella Castle
Still, I can think of a handful of ways that Disney must improve.
Dear Disney: you need to fix these theme park-related problems.
The Bathroom Problems
I’m a man who uses the men’s room. So, when I say that this is a problem, you should understand how aggravating it is.
Personally, the universe blessed me with the more convenient form of plumbing.
UK bathrooms
Quick trips to the bathroom are rarely an issue for me because everyone knows the dirty secret about these places.
Men wait approximately one percent as long to use bathrooms as women do.
Bathrooms
That’s not even a Disney thing. It’s just one of the realities of life.
At heavily trafficked places like nightclubs, restaurants, stadiums, and theaters, you’ll notice that one bathroom line moves. The other…does not.
Bathrooms near Pirates of the Caribbean
Honestly, I’m asking a lot of Disney to do better about this than anybody else, but that’s because I expect more from Disney.
During our recent trip, I watched my wife stand outside a bathroom for several minutes because the line was too long to go inside.
Bathrooms
What should have been a brief pitstop turned into a frustrating 10-15 minutes.
Ordinarily, I’d think we were just unlucky, but my sister-in-law traveled to Disneyland and Walt Disney World around the same time.
World Nature Bathrooms
Her primary complaint about both vacations was the bathroom lines were so long that she used the men’s room at one point.
She added that she was NOT the only woman in the men’s room doing that, as desperate mothers were trying to take care of their kids.
UK Restroom
Disney, you spend so much time and resources perfecting crowd management at attractions.
You should have somebody doing the same work for the bathrooms, too.
The DAS Crackdown
I understand firsthand how complicated this discussion is.
Disney recently revealed the level of abuse for Disability Access Service (DAS), and the numbers were jaw-dropping/horrifying.
Disability Access Service
People who don’t deserve DAS shouldn’t get to use it. Period. It’s the same as accessible parking.
Anyone who doesn’t need to use that parking spot absolutely SHOULD NOT be in it. I feel the same way about Disney.
Rider Switch
However, the reality is that Disney threw the baby out with the bathwater on this one.
Families who need DAS passes must jump through needless hurdles to get it.
Photo: Disney
Then, the park usage varies wildly depending on the Cast Member at the same attraction. That statement shouldn’t be true, but it is.
During a recent visit, we watched half a party of six have to leave the line queue while the others were allowed on the attraction.
Frozen Ever After
To be fair, the attraction was Frozen Ever After. I’m confident the rules are enforced most stringently on the most popular rides.
Still, the situation was heartbreaking to watch. Several other parties standing in line said as much.
Lightning Lane
We collectively tried to help them as much as we could. Other guests were even encouraging Disney to let the other three ride.
Instead, the party split into two groups of three, preventing the DAS-qualifying child from enjoying the ride with both her parents.
Winnie the Pooh Lightning Lane
The whole point of a Disney vacation is that it should make dreams come true, not senselessly divide families.
Disney, you’ve over corrected here. All the other issues I list today are trivial compared to this one. It needs immediate correction.
The Entrance Gate Chaos
Admittedly, this issue primarily exists at just two parks, but it’s a big problem.
Have you ever entered the front gate at EPCOT or Disney’s Hollywood Studios and thought, “Well, this is a mess”?
Hollywood Studios entrance
Unless you’re the luckiest Disney fan in North America, you absolutely have, and we both know it. All of us have.
The lines at these two parks rarely make sense, and Hollywood Studios, in particular, seems to be getting worse, not better.
Hollywood Studios Entrance
At EPCOT, no matter which line you pick, confusion will probably stop your movement at some point.
Between the families with small children and the large number non-English speaking tourists, EPCOT is the home to entrance bottlenecking.
EPCOT lines
Still, I vastly prefer EPCOT to Hollywood Studios, whose rule for park entry borders on nihilism.
I’m not saying it’s every person for themselves, but it’s as close to that sort of chaos as you’ll ever see at Disney.
EPCOT lines
There’s an outer sanctum and an inner sanctum. You may think you’re in line during the first one, but that line changes at the second.
People rush to the shortest lanes in such chaotic fashion that it reminds me of that one time I tried to drive at the Arc de Triomphe.
EPCOT crowds
I still have nightmares about that, but Hollywood Studios provides that same vibe.
Honestly, I don’t even have a realistic suggestion for a fix at either place.
Hollywood Studios lines
This is more my cry for help that Disney HAS to do better. Like, bring back physical rope lines if needed. It’s better than nothing.
The Toiletries Breakdown
This is a different complaint from the one listed above, but it applies to theme parks and hotels as well.
To its credit, Disney has done a lot to reduce its carbon footprint. Disney is trying to become carbon-neutral by 2030. I’m all for that.
Photo: Katie Waits and Shannon Loehrlein.
Sadly, some of the options aren’t working, though.
At the parks, it’s a running joke that automated sinks, soap dispensers, and fans prove scattershot at best.
Shampoo & Conditioner
I’ll often wave my hands under three or four of them just to get soap or running water.
Most of the time, I don’t even bother drying my hands unless I specifically notice someone else using a functional dryer.
Shampoo & Conditioner
The problem is so widespread that I’ve become defeatist about it…and I’m a sunny optimist by nature!
At the hotels, Disney has replaced those delightful plastic bottles of soap and shampoo with dispensers.
Photo: Katie Waits and Shannon Loehrlein.
These things make me feel like Godzilla. I don’t know what it is about these dispensers, but I broke four of them during my trip.
They snapped off due to what I guess is my raw power, something I’d never known about myself until now.
Shampoo & Conditioner
Seriously, I felt like I was hulking out every time I tried to use some shampoo.
The new system just isn’t using strong enough components. They’re too fragile if they break repeatedly during regular usage.
The In-Park Meltdowns
Are you familiar with KultureCity? This company is the business of selling literal safe spaces.
When you visit a place a KultureCity room, you’ll quickly discover that it provides sensory comfort.
Let’s say that you’re at a stadium for a concert or sporting event but don’t like large crowds.
Main Street, U.S.A.
Should you suddenly feel stressed or claustrophobic, the Sensory Station could prove your salvation.
Frankly, Disney needs something like that. As I discussed in detail here, family meltdowns are a thing at Disney.
Photo: KultureCity
You’ve seen the viral videos so you know it’s true. Sometimes, a person goes into meltdown mode at the park. It happens.
At Mickey’s Toontown at Disneyland Park, the company has prioritized sensory accessibility.
Toontown
That’s something that every Disney park should add ASAP. Society has moved in that direction, and Disney should lead by example here.
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