These Disney Rides Get a Bad Rap
All anybody needs is a phone and some WiFi. That’s the path to complaining on the internet. And we all do it.
Like, you don’t even want to get me started on Kirk Cousins right now, and I say that as an Atlanta Falcons fan.
Photo:Rappler
In truth, that’s how most of us are about the things we love. For whatever reason, we criticize those things the most.
If you don’t believe me, ask a Harry Potter fan about the woman who wrote those stories. You may hear actual hissing.
Photo: Universal
The same statement applies to Disney fans, as we spend all day engaging in conversations about our favorite parks.
Much of it is negative, and there’s even data to support it. The reality is that hit pieces receive exponentially more attention than positive stories.
Photo:seoclerk.com
That’s just the way of the world right now. But I’m feeling fighty today. So, let’s do this.
Here are eight Disney rides that get a bad rap. You should speak more kindly of them.
Alien Swirling Saucers
When Disney announced Toy Story Land, fans looked abroad in anticipation of the new themed land.
Since the international parks had already opened their own versions of Toy Story Land, there was an expectation about the American version.
Slinky Dog Dash
Let’s just say that Slinky Dog Dash more than matched those expectations.
Conversely, many fans pre-judged Alien Swirling Saucers and regrettably reduced their reviews to the use of the ride’s initials.
Photo: Disney
These people are wrong. Every time I ride Alien Swirling Saucers, I’m taken aback by the joy on the faces of the people.
Everyone laughs and has a great time through an admittedly short ride experience.
Perhaps that’s the problem. The ride is so slight that it’s as disposable as a potato chip…but the experience is just as delicious!
DINOSAUR
Disney’s Animal Kingdom
I’ve lost this fight, and I accept it. But I’ll never say that I was wrong about DINOSAUR.
I feel strongly that among the earliest themed rides at Disney’s Animal Kingdom, this one was the best.
Expedition Everest in Disney’s Animal Kingdom
Remember that many of your favorites like Expedition Everest didn’t come until much later.
Also, Kilimanjaro Safaris isn’t quite in the same category since it’s more of a wildlife adventure than a conventional ride.
Photo: Disney
Meanwhile, DINOSAUR does exactly what it’s supposed to do. It provides an entertaining look at the age of the dinosaurs.
Along the way, you encounter several realistic dinosaurs and have more than a few exciting escapes.
DINOSAUR
Then, the ride ends in the most dramatic way possible, and I still marvel at its cleverness after all these years.
I’ve probably only got about five more DINOSAUR rides remaining before the attraction closes forever…and I will definitely miss it.
It’s a Small World
“it’s a small world”
I’ll be first to admit to a bit of hypocrisy with this and the next ride, as well as the second-to-last one.
I’m quick to point out that the unforgettable Sherman Brothers song can get a bit…repetitive during the ride. But that’s the point.
Walt Disney himself wanted to create something universal, and each room here underscores that point.
No matter where you are on this planet, music and cultural touchstones unite us as a people.
During my most recent rides on It’s a Small World, I couldn’t help but admire the stubborn optimism on display everywhere.
This attraction embodies the kind of unity we should all display more in our everyday lives.
Journey into Imagination with Figment
Figment in his holiday sweater
Here’s where I’m a total hypocrite. I’m first in line to say that Disney should reimagine Journey into Imagination.
Others feel the same as me. In fact, Disney icon Josh Gad just championed this very concept during a recent park visit.
Photo: Disneywiki
Now, he may very well have been auditioning for a spot on the new version – he’d make a great Dreamfinder! – but still.
The point is that many of us view the Figment ride as an underachiever. It’s still good, though.
We love you, Figment!
During a recent ride, I noticed a disproportionate number of children enjoying the attraction.
Their euphoria over Figment and the silliness of the ride reminded me of a basic truth.
Journey into Imagination with Figment
Disney designs some rides just for kids. When we evaluate Journey into Imagination from that perspective, it’s a masterpiece.
Na’vi River Journey
I. Will. Fight. You.
Okay, that’s not true, but I will engage you in passionate debate regarding the overall quality of Na’vi River Journey.
Photo: Disney
For whatever reason, a wide swath of the Disney fan base arbitrarily decided they hated the ride after their first try.
Many of them never gave it another chance, which I find regrettable.
(Kent Phillips, photographer)
Honestly, I should probably keep my mouth shut here.
In a couple of years when new rides open at Animal Kingdom, I’ll finally have the opportunity to ride Na’vi River Journey repeatedly.
Na’vi River Journey
I’ve been awaiting that day since 2017. Right now, the ride consistently requires a 60-minute wait.
I’m hoping that the number drops into the 30-minute range when the Tropical Americas debuts.
Photo: DigitialSpy.com
Na’vi River Journey overwhelms me each time due to the sheer volume of amazing distractions on display in each scene.
I’ve never managed to take it all in, which is why I’d like it to become a bit less popular.
Photo Credit: The Verge via Facebook
That’s the oddity about this ride. Many people swear they hate it, yet the lines have remained outrageously long for seven years and counting.
To a larger point, I think Na’vi River Journey is in the conversation as a top ten overall Walt Disney World attraction.
Tiana’s Bayou Adventure
Tiana’s Bayou Adventure
Here’s another attraction that pre-judged, and my goodness, were they ever wrong.
Tiana’s Bayou Adventure embodies the best of Disney storytelling and Imagineering innovations.
Tiana’s Bayou Adventure
You’ll feel like you’re riding through the bayou as you encounter Audio-Animatronics and digital displays.
The immersion here is next-level, but the charming New Orleans background provides a distinct comfort level.
Tiana’s Bayou Adventure
Oh, and the music here is so charming and upbeat. This ride represents Disney in its purest form.
Tomorrowland Speedway
Photo: skillastics.com
A story broke the other day that Joe Burrow, a superstar NFL quarterback, spent $2.8 million on a real Batmobile.
There’s video of him telling his wide receivers on the Cincinnati Bengals.
Tomorrowland Speedway
They’re half-disbelieving and half-wildly jealous. You can tell that they wish they had NFL quarterback money to buy their own.
Somehow, that moment triggered the genesis of this article, as I realized that many of us never really get over our love of cars.
Photo: Disney
We collect toy cars as children and then count down the days until we can finally drive a real one.
At Tomorrowland Speedway (and Autopia), Disney allows kids to skip the learner’s permit and just take a car for a spin. It’s magical.
Photo: Disney
Like Figment, this attraction isn’t for adults, and we should remember that rather than criticize Disney for keeping it open.
Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress
Carousel of Progress
Finally, we have another of Walt Disney’s masterpieces from the 1964 New York World’s Fair.
Perhaps there’s no greater demonstration of the visionary’s genius than the fact that It’s a Small World and Carousel of Progress still entertain today.
Uncle Walt wanted to show how far society had advanced since his childhood, and he built a show that moves guests from scene to scene.
Imagineers lovingly update the final scene to make sure it highlights the conveniences of modern technology.
But Disney generally leaves the first three scenes alone. They’re the ones that cover Uncle Walt’s life.
So, anyone who dislikes this ride can’t be much of a Walt Disney fan, right?
Carousel of Progress
I don’t think any Disney attraction has ever shown the innate optimism of these rides that came from that 1964 World’s Fair.
To a larger point, how could anyone possibly criticize Carousel of Progress? It’s just disrespectful!
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Feature Photo: Disney
