The People You Should Avoid at Disney

One of the most wonderful parts of a Disney vacation is interacting with other people.

During a recent trip, I happily engaged with several strangers, including a lovely family who watched a nighttime presentation with me.

DIsney

Alas, for all the warm fuzzies I get when hanging with new Disney friends, some folks at the parks aren’t as pleasant to be around.

Here are the six kinds of people you should avoid at Disney.

The Crazy Ivans

Photo: D23.com

This perhaps dated term circles back to the Cold War and references a unique submarine behavior.

Since submarines “fly blind” under the water, they rely on their radar as much as possible. Sometimes, that’s not enough, though.

Photo: Disneyland

Thus, some submarine captains developed a technique to identify trailing spy vessels.

When pulling a Crazy Ivan, a submarine performs a sharp turn to surprise any vessels hiding in its blind spot.

At Disney, there’s an unexpected equivalent to the Crazy Ivan.

Sometimes, you’ll be walking behind a guest, who suddenly decides to pull a U-turn right in front of you.

If you were driving a car, you’d wreck into the bumper (or side) of the other driver, whether you’re tailgating or not.

At Disney, you inevitably come face-to-face with the total stranger who just pulled the Crazy Ivan.

Sometimes, you literally smash into them. It’s unavoidable, and while it’s always the other person’s fault, they’re rarely apologetic.

For this reason, I always try to provide a bit of space from other guests. It’s the only way to avoid an unwelcome cheek-to-cheek encounter.

The Disney Drunks

Disney sells alcohol at all its parks. So, I won’t belabor the point here.

You read the header and immediately nodded, I’m sure. It’s just a thing that happens, especially at EPCOT’s World Showcase.

Fruited Sour Sparkling Wine Cocktail

At some point, you’ll bump into someone whom you can smell before you can make out their face.

This individual has happily indulged in all the delicious goodness of Disney’s cocktail menus, and God bless them for having a great time on vacation!

Alas, they’re somewhere in that range of inebriated, which makes them potentially aggravating in two different ways.

The first is that for whatever reason, they will never want to ride Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind more in their life. It’s like a compulsion.

So, there’s a decent chance you’ll watch this person empty their guts with what Cast Members grudgingly call a Protein Spill.

The other is that the time-space continuum has become a bit of a mystery to our over-served friends.

Thus, they may bump into you (multiple times), talk VERY loudly, or swear that they know you from that place with the thing. You know the one.

Dealing with Disney Drunks is actually a lot of fun when you’re in the right mood, as everyone’s having a great time.

(Christian Thompson/Disney)

When you’ve had a long day and are over it, dealing with a Disney Drunk feels like the universe piling on, though.

Fighting Families

Photo: Marvel

We have a rule at Disney. As it gets later in the day, we make less and less eye contact with clearly disgruntled guests.

You never know when the best of intentions turns into an awkward encounter.

As a recent example, we were standing in line at Mickey & Minnie’s Runaway Railway a few minutes before park closing.

Three members of a family were absolutely over each other by this point.

(Matt Stroshane/Disney Parks)

I don’t know what had transpired, but these three middle-aged adults were acting like petulant toddlers.

The three of them began to argue loudly about whether they should even bother to ride Runaway Railway or just call it a day.

Dozens of other guests watched in bewilderment as one of them berated the others for never supporting her.

Then, she stormed from the line and demanded that another woman follow her to the exit.

(Kent Phillips, photographer)

At this point, we watched the poor third person debate the ethical conundrum of being two minutes from Runaway Railway.

They’d already stood in line this whole time and were right by the train. But they knew that if they rode it, they’d hear about it for years to come.

(Matt Stroshane, photographer)

So, the person grudgingly did the smart thing and exited the line, thereby preventing an international incident.

After the three of them had left, the rest of us nervously laughed at the shocking display. I get it, though.

Photo: FOX 35 Orlando

Family vacations can get intense, and that’s why I give a wide berth to any angry-looking family.

The Line Blockers

Photo: MCO

This frustration starts at the airport and never ends during a Disney vacation.

For whatever reason, some people give no consideration to the purpose of a line entrance.

They loiter around that entrance, blocking it for those of us who want to use it.

At airports, people who know they will be among the last to board inexplicably stand in front of the entrance for earlier Boarding Groups.

Photo: Disney

At Disney theme parks, guests frequently block the Lightning Lane as they, I dunno, wait for their turn or something? It’s weird.

Sometimes, you must lock eyes with a Cast Member and hope they’ll clear the path for you.

Frozen Ever After

In a couple of instances, I’ve had to make physical contact with people blocking the Lightning Lanes to get past them and use the service.

Frankly, I understand most of the behaviors on this list. I mean, I’m even guilty of pulling a few Crazy Ivans over the years.

But I’ll never understand Line Blockers.

The Motor Scooter Novices

ECV

Many locations rent Mobility Scooters for theme park usage.

These transportation units are ideal for anyone who struggles to navigate the parks for a full day.

Disney

Alas, driving a Mobility Scooter requires a bit of a learning curve, and some folks just never quite get it.

So, you should always remain wary of any Mobility Scooter in your general vicinity.

You never know when someone will try to make a turn and badly miscalculate.

I just accept that I’m going to have at least a couple of people drive over my Size 12 feet during a Disney vacation. It’s inevitable.

ECVs

On the bright side, few Mobility Scooter drivers seem to display malice while driving. I cannot say that about…

The Stroller Bullies

Look, I get it. When parents fantasize about taking their children to Disney, few consider the specifics.

With a small child in the fold, you’ll be pushing them around the parks via a stroller.

This method will save your child the toll of strutting their tiny, adorable legs through the park all day.

However, you’ll work that much harder during your Disney visit since you’re walking for two (or more).

Some parents naturally develop a hard edge while using a stroller all day.

As they grow more fatigued and cranky, they start to use strollers, especially empty ones, as weapons.

The children’s transportation devices double as open-field blockers, with some parents intentionally steering at strangers.

There’s no worse feeling at Disney than to be casually walking down a path, only to realize that a stroller is coming right at you.

Photo: YourMileageMayVary.net

For this reason, I’ve learned to give Stroller Bullies plenty of leeway.

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