Disney Headlines for January 6th, 2023
Theme park officials face the weirdest vandal ever in the latest batch of Disney Headlines.
Just…Why?
This week marks a new year of Disney Headlines. Somehow, we’ve already got a strong candidate for the Strangest Disney Stories of the year.
A vandal has defaced the walls of several Disney locations recently. We’re not talking about a tagger leaving some underground art for others, either.
Photo:visitorlando.com
No, this is most assuredly not a Banksy situation. Instead, someone is – and I cannot believe I’m typing this – posting explicit pictures across the Disney campus.
Yes, some weirdo has spent their free time placing pictures of genitalia throughout Walt Disney World for reasons passing understanding.
I guess that the A Florida Man meme plays a factor here, although this seems more like the work of a 12-year-old.
Then again, I guess A Florida Man could have A Florida Child. And that’s a scary thought.
Anyway, the cleaning crew at Disney’s Port Orleans – French Quarter discovered the offending photos.
Someone had taped them to a sign beside the women’s bathroom.
Photo: Disney
Coincidentally or not, that’s the third such incident at a Disney resort over the past few weeks.
Yes, as ridiculous as this may sound, Disney may be facing a repeat pornographic offender.
In the immortal words of Helen Lovejoy, won’t someone please think of the children?
This seems like a good time to mention that Disney keeps security cameras everywhere. So, some weird prankster will suffer through a very bad day soon.
I Blame Bill Cipher, the Show’s Villain
Photo: Universal
Recently, the two largest theme park companies have experienced some turnover.
Universal Studios offered buyouts to many of its top executives, leading to a wave of early retirements.
Meanwhile, The Walt Disney Company told many of its Imagineers that their jobs were moving to Florida…with or without them.
Photo: centralfloridaprimerealestate.com
That transition hasn’t happened yet since Disney’s Lake Nona decision remains in flux. Still, some Imagineers read the writing on the wall and left early.
Not coincidentally, we will sometimes hear about a story involving a former Imagineer who is no longer willing to hold their tongue.
Sometimes, the person just shouts their frustration on social media, too.
Photo: Instagram/@Trader_Brandon
Such is the case with former Disney employee, Brandon Kleya, who used some of his holiday free time to clean out his storage.
In the process, Kleya unearthed a proposal he’d pitched for a Disney attraction. And here’s the part that breaks my heart.
Kleya had suggested a Gravity Falls-themed attraction based on the Mystery Shack store in the series.
Photo: Disney
Fans could have explored a real-life recreation of Grunkle Stan’s business. It’s a weird combination of kitschy tourist junk and mystical curiosities.
Not that long ago, I begged people to watch Gravity Falls when it aired on the Disney Channel. I’ve said something similar now that it’s on Disney+.
Photo:Disney
Well, Kleya obviously agrees with me. Unfortunately, none of his bosses did.
According to his Instagram post, “they looked at me like I was insane.”
Somehow, that’s not even the worst part.
Photo: Disney Channel
Kleya adds: “I have vivid memories of that meeting where I was asked some of the dumbest questions I’ve ever been asked.”
That sound you hear is my heart shattering into a million pieces. I want to live in the universe where there’s a Gravity Falls attraction!
Disney Wins the Box Office Year
Photo: CNBC
Here’s a story that won’t earn nearly as many headlines as negative pieces do.
For the seventh (!) straight year, Disney has won the studio box office battle.
In other words, Disney movies have grossed more in combined theatrical revenue than any other competitor.
Notably, Disney didn’t even release the most films this past year. Universal couldn’t beat Disney despite having more 2022 titles.
For the year, Universal finished second with $3.9 billion in worldwide box office. Meanwhile, Disney bested them with $4.9 billion, which is more than 25 percent better.
Photo: DIsney+
For all the negative press about Strange World, the Marvel Cinematic Universe feeling stale, and Lightyear’s box office disappointment, Disney still released 16 titles in 2022.
On average, these films earned more than $300 million in worldwide box office.
Hilariously, only 14 movies released in 2022 earned that much. This fact alone demonstrates how much Disney blows the curve with its titles.
Photo: Courtesy of Hollywood Records/Universal Music Canada
The average Disney movie would have finished in the top 15 at the box office last year!
By the way, this data is for calendar 2022 alone. The revenue that Avatar: The Way of Water has earned in 2023 doesn’t count toward that amount.
If it did, the gap between Disney and everybody else would be that much wider.
Source: 20th Century Studios
The last time Disney failed to win the studio box office title was 2015. It’s been ages, y’all.
Remember that the next time somebody tries to tell you that Disney’s in a lot of trouble because its movies honor the Fifth Key.
Similarly, facts like this explain my outrage when theater owners act ungrateful to Disney, the company that keeps the power on at cineplexes.
Miscellaneous Disney Headlines
Last year, Winnie the Pooh entered the public domain, which led to this monstrosity:
I’m sorry to do that to you, but I needed to make a point. Disney works hard to keep its intellectual properties (IP) covered under trademark law.
At the end of 2023, the most important IP of all enters the public domain.
Photo: Disney
Disney will soon lose exclusive rights to the Steamboat Willie version of Mickey Mouse!
We will cover the story more as the date approaches. Here’s a detailed article about it if you’re interested, though.
Speaking of trademarks, Disney has gone after an online site for egregious violations of counterfeit merchandise. You can read the full details here.
Photo: cba.cj
The main takeaway involves people selling fake Disney merchandise they falsely claim is authentic. It was a pretty shameless operation.
Free advice: always verify the credentials of a site that claims to be selling authentic Disney goods.
By the way, I mentioned Strange World earlier. It’s infamous as the movie that cost Disney $150 million as a box office bomb.
Photo: Disney News
However, I’ve previously mentioned that I found the movie itself rather charming. Well, some other folks must agree.
During the ten days since its release on Disney+, the movie has finished at the top of the Trending charts. In other words, it’s the most popular thing on Disney+ right now!
If you subscribe – and you should! – please give Strange World a try. It’s so much better than its reputation.
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