Can You Believe Some Disney Guests Do These Things???
“Flanders, I am a patient, reasonable, handsome man. But even I have my limits.”
I quote The Simpsons so much that I sometimes don’t even realize I’m doing it. But this reference feels apropos for today’s discussion.
Many Disney fans are still doing some stuff that DRIVES ME NUTS!!! Can you believe people do these things at the park? It’s maddening, right?
Lying about Height Requirements
Disney devotes more time and resources to ride safety than you could ever understand.
Imagineers double as crash test dummies at times, risking their health to verify that attractions are in working order.
Remarkably, such behavior only happens after years of planning and testing.
That’s why I’m always screaming inside when I notice specific parental behavior at the parks.
Some mommies and daddies care more about their child not throwing a tantrum than the kid’s well-being.
So, they’ll encourage the child to stand on its tippy toes to reach the height requirement.
Please know two things. One: it doesn’t work. Two: if it did, the child would be in peril.
Here’s a pro tip for parents to save you from such frustrations. On your first day at the parks, ask a cast member to measure your child.
From that point forward, you’ll know which Disney rides are fine vs. non-starters.
Friends, this one’s important. Theme parks release quarterly safety reports that show various mishaps. So naturally, you don’t want anyone in your family to appear on one of those lists.
Yelling at Cast Members
I’m gonna connect these two since they often go hand in hand. What do they do when a parent discovers their child is too small for an attraction?
Well, some of them, the ill-considered and temperamental ones, yell at the cast members. They do this as if it’s a stranger’s fault that the child is an inch or two too short during that visit.
This behavior is the equivalent of blaming the curb when you drive over it. But, friends, that flat tire is NOT the curb’s fault.
For whatever reason, some people use cast members as virtual punching bags. Lately, we could even use the term literally on a few regrettable occasions.
This infuriates me for multiple reasons. First, how we treat “the help” goes a long way in revealing character.
We live in a society. So, please be polite, lead with a kind word, and tip well when appropriate. That’s general life advice.
Second – and specific to Disney – cast members are the kindest people on this planet. I honestly believe that. They’re certainly not working at theme parks for the pay.
Anyone who berates them is effectively kicking a furry pet with love in its heart. You’re a cartoon villain at that point.
Ignore Disney Resort Perks
Staying at an official Disney resort is its own reward. As I discuss frequently, the amenities at these places are world-class.
Meanwhile, the architecture and theming rivals anything you’ll ever experience in the tourism industry in your life.
Other, lesser tourist destinations visit Disney theme parks and take notes. Then, they steal imitate the ideas.
I mean, there’s a duplicate of Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort not ten miles away at Universal Orlando Resort. The thieves are that shameless.
So, you should want to stay at a Disney hotel anyway. What’s stunning to me is that many resort guests don’t utilize the accompanying park perks.
All Walt Disney World resorts offer Early Theme Park Entry, a powerful bonus for staying at an official hotel. You get to enter a Disney park 30 minutes before other guests.
That extra time can mean the difference between riding an E-ticket attraction in 20 minutes vs. two hours.
Guests at Deluxe tier Disney resorts receive another remarkable benefit. Disney keeps one park open for just such guests on Mondays and Wednesdays.
The park officially closes for everyone else. Then, Deluxe Disney resort guests enjoy two extra hours at Magic Kingdom, EPCOT, or sometimes even Disney’s Hollywood Studios.
Anyone who skips out on that benefit is missing out!
Picking the Wrong Disney Genie Attractions
This one has stuck in my craw since the earliest days of the FastPass system.
Some people booked FastPasses which made absolutely no sense. They’d go out of their way to book a paper FastPass for Tomorrowland Speedway.
That’s like standing in line at the deli when you’re not planning on buying any food.
Once FastPasses went digital, the behavior grew even stranger. I would overhear people say things like, “Should we get a FastPass for Test Track or Living with the Land?”
I might be the world’s greatest living evangelist for Living with the Land, and even *I* think that’s insane. You pick Test Track 100 out of every 100 times.
Now, we’ve entered an era where people pay for Disney Genie+ attractions. The old FastPass line is now the Lightning Lane queue, yet the behavior remains.
Disney only guarantees guests two or three Disney Genie+ reservations per day. So, you need to make the right choice here.
Somehow, I’m still watching people pick The Magic Carpets of Aladdin instead of Peter Pan’s Flight or Jungle Cruise.
The latter rides often require a wait of an hour or more. Meanwhile, Walt Disney World hosts three different variations of The Magic Carpets of Aladdin. So, it’s not even unique.
Friends, I am BEGGING you to use your Disney Genie+ selections correctly. It breaks my brain that people just take the first ride they see.
Friends, Florida is Florida. You’ve heard about it all your life for a reason. Walt Disney World gets hot because, well, it used to be swampland.
Also, entirely random rain showers are a thing. So, you need to think a bit before you pack for a park visit.
When a sudden rainstorm occurs, I get a twisted enjoyment from watching people run to stores to buy rain slickers. But unfortunately, I think Disney’s markup on them approaches 100 percent.
You could save yourself that hidden fee by planning. Similarly, you desperately need to pack sunscreen. Otherwise, you’ll be in pain by the end of your trip.
A few years ago, my wife stumbled across spray-on suntan lotion. When I’m at Disney, I often think of it as the greatest invention since the internet.
That stuff has changed my life…and protected my bald spot. I boggle at the people who purchase suntan lotion and umbrellas/rain slickers at park stores.
Speaking of the internet, you’ll use your smartphone all the time while you’re at the parks. So, your battery drains quickly.
Many people don’t plan for this and then find themselves buying chargers, cables, and backup batteries at the parks.
The gouge pricing on these is outrageous, even by theme park standards.
I get so irritated when people do these things when an alternative solution is readily available.
You can order new cables, chargers, and batteries from Amazon before leaving for your trip. You’ll save a fortune this way. Plus, since they’re new, you know they’ll work.
In fact, you can do this even after you reach Orlando. Amazon will deliver to Disney resorts! So how are people still not doing this?!