Which Extinct Disney Attraction Would You Bring Back from the Dead?
Walt Disney World is constantly changing. Every month, cast members do something a bit different to plus the parks.
Walt Disney himself stressed the importance of improving attractions to keep them fresh. He also believed that some stuff outlived its usefulness.
Sadly, not all attractions remain forever. Even great rides sometimes receive a swan song and then disappear forever.
Today, we’ll take a look at the pros and cons of ten attractions. Then, we’ll decide which extinct Disney attraction should be brought back from the dead.
Ellen’s Energy Adventure
Pros: Ellen’s Energy Adventure told a charming story of the worst player in Jeopardy history somehow beating Jamie Lee Curtis.
Also, there was some stuff in there about dinosaurs and fossil fuels. None of that matters as much as the presence of the late Alex Trebek, though.
Okay, I’m kidding here, but Ellen’s Energy Adventure provided a respite during a park visit and also entertained with its genteel sensibilities.
Cons: It was so slow that approximately 95 percent of all riders fell asleep at some point. Also, Ellen’s comeback victory in Jeopardy felt preposterous.
Conclusion: Probably makes the shortlist but isn’t likely to win.
ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter
Pros: Haunted Measure qualifies as a half-measure in the spookiness department.
ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter would send a chill down the spine of Daredevil, the Man without Fear.
Disney constructed an unforgettable, closed-quarters meeting with an alien. It was claustrophobic enough to impress horror filmmakers.
Cons: Ill-informed parents sometimes allowed their children into this theater.
Unless the kids were 40-year-olds still living in the basement, they weren’t ready for this level of horror.
Some folks just weren’t emotionally equipped for this attraction. And I’m not judging them. ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter was a lot…and decidedly un-Disney.
Conclusion: It’s a strong contender, but the lack of Disney in it hurts its candidacy.
Flying Saucers
Pros: Made you feel like you were floating a few feet off the ground. Also created a sensation that turned you into the puck in an air hockey game.
Cons: Never worked right. Fat shamed. Didn’t work forty years later when Disney tried it again.
Conclusion: We should try again in another forty years, but we’re not there yet.
The Great Movie Ride
Pros: Anchored Disney’s Hollywood Studios for years as an iconic attraction.
Lovingly explored the history of Hollywood’s golden age while still including modern films. Included improv and had some randomization.
For many years, The Great Movie Ride felt like the only Hollywood Studios ride that belonged at Hollywood Studios.
Cons: Some elements relied on the enthusiasm of cast members. Like Jungle Cruise, riders could occasionally get a host whose sense of humor didn’t align.
The ride is slow and long, which I deem positives. But, unfortunately, others focus on the slow and long too much at the expense of missing the forest for the trees.
Conclusion: Easily earns a spot on the shortlist. A strong contender for the title.
Journey into Imagination
Pros: The Dreamfinder and Figment possessed inimitable charm with this sunnily optimistic story about the power of creativity.
I’m loathe to break out phrases like this often, but they really don’t make ‘em like Journey into Imagination anymore.
Cons: It still exists in a modernized form, albeit without the Dreamfinder. The current version feels like a pale imitation, a John Cena instead of The Rock.
Also, when I rewatch the original version on YouTube, I cannot help but notice that it’s decidedly dated.
Conclusion: This one’s tricky. Those of us who remember the first version of the ride miss it so. However, it wouldn’t work as well today.
So, Journey into Imagination would need a modern update…which it already has. And it’s not as good. So, this one is my first tough cut.
Maelstrom
Pros: Celebrated Viking culture in a way that children and adults alike could enjoy. Felt like the best ride at the World Showcase for years.
Another positive for Maelstrom could also count as a negative. It rarely required long waits over its last few years. So, its popularity faded.
Fans of Maelstrom loved that as we could enter from the International Gateway and be on the ride in a matter of minutes.
Cons: I watched Maelstrom videos quite a bit during the pandemic since I couldn’t visit Disney for more than six months.
I must admit that it looks dated and overtly silly in many spots. Some of its appeal stems from these quirks, but it was never one of Disney’s best rides.
Conclusion: I’ll shortlist it, knowing full well that it won’t win. In fact, I’d only rank it third among the attractions we’ve already covered.
Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride
Pros: This gets my vote as Disney’s most insidious attraction. You take on the role of the reckless adrenaline junkie who owns the manor.
Along the way, you fall in love with motor vehicles and drove so recklessly that you get sent to jail. Later, you go to Hell. That’s a real thing that happens.
I jokingly refer to it as the darkest of dark rides.
Cons: The original version of the ride still exists in essentially the same form as its opening day in 1955.
So, you can still ride this one. All you need to do is visit Disneyland instead of Walt Disney World at some point.
Conclusion: I don’t think this one quite makes the cut since it still exists, unlike your girlfriend in Canada.
Osborne Family Spectacle of Dancing Lights
Pros: Embodied holiday joy at Walt Disney World for a generation.
When the court system ruled that the Osborne Family needed to move its holiday light show, Disney happily took on the task.
For years, Disney’s Hollywood Studios featured the most festive yuletide display in the south.
Alas, Disney needed this space for expansion projects. So, it was this or Toy Story and Star Wars themed lands.
Cons: In doing an evaluation like this, we must consider that it wasn’t an everyday attraction. Also, Disney still offers lovely holiday decorations at all four parks.
Conclusion: I went back and forth on this one before ultimately deciding that we should only shortlist everyday attractions.
Having said that, if Disney brought back the Osborne Family Spectacle of Dancing Lights this year, I’d immediately schedule a 10-day vacation.
Snow White’s Scary Adventures
Pros: Walt Disney planned and developed this ride with the first wave of Imagineers. It was a day one Disneyland attraction.
Cons: Nobody understood it in 1955, and the Magic Kingdom version wasn’t much better.
Also, the ride still mostly exists at Disneyland, albeit as Snow White’s Enchanted Wish. I actually think the upbeat tone makes it better.
Conclusion: We all know that this one is a pass, at least relative to some of the other contenders on the list.
Studio Backlot Tour
Pros: One of only two opening day attractions at Hollywood Studios, the backlot tour entertained guests for decades.
Guests could watch some fascinating behind-the-scenes aspects of filmmaking. Plus, the special effects tricks on parts of the ride were excellent.
Cons: Universal Studios did it better. You know it, and I know it. As Disney fans, we just hate to admit it.
Conclusion: Nope, this one doesn’t make the cut.
The Finalists
Okay, we’ve narrowed down the list from ten to four.
Those candidates are Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, The Great Movie Ride, ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter, and Ellen’s Energy Adventure.
I suspect we’d all agree that Ellen’s Energy Adventure isn’t on a par with the rest. Similarly, Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride shouldn’t count since it’s still a thing at Disneyland.
That leaves us with the aptly named ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter and the warm hug of an attraction that is The Great Movie Ride.
I think we’d all like to have them both back at some point. But, for now, my vote goes to The Great Movie Ride due to its historical significance at Hollywood Studios.
What do you think? Feel free to let us know in the comments which of these ten rides you wish Disney would bring back. And remember!
“All of them!” is a perfectly acceptable response!
Feature Image: https://anormaldisasterphotography.wordpress.com/tag/the-great-movie-ride/