Top 10 Reasons You Should Vote for Mickey!
Are you tired of hearing about politics and elections? Haven’t we suffered enough in 2020?
Well, I’m here to tell you that there is one candidate we can all support, a great uniter for our people. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m the campaign manager for the most underrated person rodent in this election.
Let’s talk through the many reasons why you should vote for Mickey Mouse!
Mickey Makes the Best out of Bad Situations
2020 is the literal worst, at least for those of us who weren’t alive for World War II.
We’ve got fires and murder hornets and zombie sea storms. It’s bad.
Do you know who is perfect at making the most out of terrible situations?
Yes, Mickey Mouse aces every test! His friends, especially one we’ll discuss in a moment, are always getting the team in trouble.
Who is there to save the day? Why, it’s everyone’s favorite mouse!
Mickey Can Deal with the Worst
Have you ever been chased by a hurricane or had your significant other kidnapped? Have you found yourself lost at sea or trapped in a jungle amidst many angry animals?
Mickey Mouse deals with this stuff in every cartoon. He’s battle-tested and has proven to keep his wits about him even in dire circumstances.
We need a leader who can win the big football game, overcome a brain-swapping mad scientist, and save Christmas.
These skills show that no situation, no matter how bizarre, is too much for Mickey to handle!
I mean, Donald Duck starts like eight catastrophes a week. Somehow, Mickey Mouse has saved the day every time Donald messed up, though.
Mickey Mouse Is a World Leader
Since the 1920s, Mickey Mouse has developed relationships around the world.
I mean, one of his theme parks features a World Showcase where Mickey hosts 10 foreign nations.
As if that weren’t enough, Mr. Mouse has spread his love overseas, with theme parks in France, Japan, and China. He’s globally beloved!
Mickey Mouse Is a Job Creator
People around the world recognize and adore this nattily dressed rodent.
In fact, Mickey Mouse and his friends sold more than $3 billion in merchandise in 2018.
One business site even published an article explaining how that happened.
The popularity of Team Mickey creates jobs for manufacturers who license his appearance to sell merch. And it works.
Also, The Walt Disney Company employed 223,000 people at the end of 2019. Few corporations on the planet can match Mickey when it comes to boosting the economy.
Mickey Mouse Has 90 Years of Wisdom
Everybody’s pal, Mickey Mouse, celebrated his 90th birthday in 2018.
While I wouldn’t ordinarily recommend voting for a 92-year-old for office, this situation’s different.
Mickey Mouse doesn’t look a day over…whatever the equivalent of 30 is for mice.
Dude’s still youthful enough to take Minnie on picnics like every fifth cartoon episode.
So, Mickey’s timeless but wise. In fact, he was already super-reliable back in the 1930s when Donald Duck arrived.
Ever since then, Mickey has saved his friend from the duck’s tendency toward self-destruction.
After hundreds of cartoonish acts of heroism, Mickey has seen it all, done it all, and saved it all.
Sure, he might be as old as the television, but that’s okay. He’s young at heart but has nine decades of hard-earned wisdom.
Mickey Understands Small Businesses
Once upon a time, Mickey WAS part of a small business. An enterprising illustrator bet his entire career on a mouse.
That man later stated, “I hope we never lose sight of one thing – that it was all started by a mouse.”
Yes, Mickey Mouse anchored a small business that evolved into a multinational conglomerate with a $230 billion market cap.
Of course, that statement only tells part of the story. Along the way, Mickey Mouse has held a comical amount of jobs.
That rodent has worked as a steamboat operator, a ballplayer, a private detective, a sorcerer’s apprentice, and a bandleader.
I could go on and on about the mouse’s work experience. In truth, that may be the one knock against him as a candidate. He can’t hold down a job.
Still, no candidate has as much job experience as Mickey Mouse. He understands how hard the working world is.
Mickey Would Have the Perfect Choice for Vice-President
You cannot separate Mickey Mouse from his lady love, Minnie. The two of them appear together in virtually everything, most recently a theme park ride.
Yes, the stars of Mickey & Minnie’s Runaway Railway seem like the perfect party ticket to dominate an election.
I mean, Mickey’s great, but Minnie seems like the brains of the operation. She has the common sense to treat Donald Duck warily.
Minnie spends her free time with Daisy Duck instead. They’re the ones always sitting calmly while Donald accidentally screws up again.
Hmm, maybe we should reverse the ticket to have Minnie Mouse on top and Mickey as Veep.
Mickey Has Presidential Friends Already
In times of turmoil, leaders rely on the advice of those who have already faced similar struggles.
While some Presidents aren’t popular with previous officeholders, Mickey’s situation differs dramatically.
Why, this mouse is so popular that he hosts all other Presidents at one of his parks!
Yes, when Mickey needs help, he can take the short walk to the Hall of Presidents and ask Abraham Lincoln and George Washington what they would do.
Mickey Is Quite the Patriot
How many of you own an outfit that is red, white, and blue? Mickey Mouse wears one frequently!
Also, he throws the best parades, an underrated aspect of leadership.
Under Mickey Mouse, Independence Day parades would seem more patriotic than ever, especially with a pair of dogs walking alongside him.
Mickey, Minnie, Pluto, and Goofy would take spectacular photographs at national celebrations, too!
They’d be the most photogenic group since JFK and Jackie Kennedy.
Mickey Already Gets Votes in Every Election!
Are you afraid to vote for Mickey because you don’t want to waste your vote?
Don’t worry! You won’t be the only one!
In virtually every major election, a few voters select Mickey Mouse as the leader they want for a better tomorrow.
I’m not joking, either. Ballotpedia even has a page for Mickey Mouse!
Political analysts track this phenomenon after every election. The only other fictional character who appears as consistently is Santa Claus!
Hey! That might be a winning ticket! If Minnie Mouse doesn’t want to run office, Mickey Mouse should choose Kris Kringle as his Veep!
So, there you have it. As election day approaches, you should reconsider your options. The name to know is the one you already love.
VOTE MICKEY MOUSE!!!