4 Lost Epcot Attractions We Really Miss
The Epcot from your youth no longer exists. The self-proclaimed Future World from the 1980s turned out to be a bit misguided. One attraction famously predicted that we’d have cities in the air and settlements in outer space. We really, really don’t…unless Denver counts. Still, part of the charm of your childhood memories of Epcot is that they are remnants of your past. Your fond memories of the Epcot of yesteryear is what makes it special. Here are four lost Epcot attractions that we dearly miss.
Body Wars
Disney recently announced plans to return life to the Wonders of Life pavilion. Epcot fans have mourned the loss of this place for more than a decade. It was one of the final expansions of the Future World of the 1980s, the one that causes us to reminisce about the park’s earliest days.
While it seems impossible now, Wonders of Life was once recognized as the state-of-the-art pavilion. It had the cutting edge attractions that seemed so imaginative at the time, even as they seem decidedly quaint with the benefit of hindsight. Perhaps the retro nature of them is what we adore.
Photo Credit: Yesterland.com
Body Wars stood out as the most innovative of all park rides of the era. It came out a couple of years after Star Tours and used an improved version of the same technology. Disney once accurately bragged that it was the first thrill ride at Epcot. That idea seems ridiculous now, but it was 100% true in 1989.
The conceit of the ride is familiar to science-fiction fans or anyone who has watched Fantastic Voyage or one of its knockoffs. In order to learn more about the body, a team of scientists shrinks a person to learn more about how the human body heals a splinter.
As you’ll see, shrinking was a popular concept at Epcot last century. Anyway, Imagineers elevated the concept via motion simulation. During the ride, all instances of bodily peril were matched by movements that brought the audience into the action.
The attraction packed a great deal of action into seven minutes, and it featured a fair amount of star power, too. Tim Matheson and Elizabeth Shue played a daring captain and intrepid doctor. Refreshingly, the woman actually came up with the idea that saved the day, something that…did not happen a lot in 1980s movies, television shows, books, or theme park rides.
The good doctor cleverly deduced that her cohorts could power their ship by using the electricity of the brain. Hey, there’s a reason why The Karate Kid fell for Elizabeth Shue. Body Wars was somehow silly, kind of gross, and quite entertaining. Sadly, it didn’t age well, and sponsorship at the Wonders of Life pavilion was always problematic. Without someone else footing the bill, Disney couldn’t keep it in operation.
Ellen’s Energy Adventure
The most recent victim of plussing is Ellen’s Energy Adventure, the anchor of the Universe of Energy Pavilion. Disney closed the ride and thereby the pavilion on August 13, 2017, almost 21 years after it opened. Disney fanatics know that this attraction wasn’t the original one at the pavilion. It replaced the initial Universe of Energy ride, which had a cool trick. To prove the concept, the ride carts employed solar power to propel them, at least partially.
Ellen’s Energy Adventure was somehow just as kitschy as the 1982 version. Everyone’s favorite comedian/hostess, Ellen DeGeneres went on an odd voyage of discovery. It started in a dream, one where she appeared as the worst contestant ever on Jeopardy. Her mortal enemy, Jamie Lee Curtis, was destroying her until Bill Nye the Science Guy transported her back in time to the age of the dinosaurs.
This journey was apparently the best possible way for Ellen to understand how fossil fuels work. This attraction was part movie (or tv show?) and part ride. In fact, it was like the gentle version of DINOSAUR due to its audio-animatronics (AAs). Best of all, the attraction took a loooong time. It was a 45-minute ride experience and an ideal way to take a break at Epcot while still enjoying an entertaining attraction.
We’re sure that the Guardians of the Galaxy roller coaster will be spectacular, but we’ll always miss Ellen’s Energy Adventure. It was always everyone’s favorite cat nap at Epcot.
Honey, I Shrunk the Audience!
The 1980s were a bleak period for Disney animation. What propped up the company was its decision to emphasize live action films. One of the gems of the era was Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, a goofy comedy that was the Ant-Man of its day.
A madcap inventor built a device that accidentally led to his children becoming the size of bugs. It starred Rick Moranis and a woman who looked and acted like Teri Garr but wasn’t Teri Garr. Nobody had high expectations for the movie, which makes its box office performance that much more impressive. It cost only $18 million to produce but earned more than $222 million. It also spawned a sequel, a straight-to-video third film, and a television series.
Given that the Honey, I… franchise became so popular, Disney tried to cash in with an attraction. They designed a 3-D film that was extremely inventive for the era, 1994. The premise was that the Rick Moranis character would appear at the Inventor of the Year Award and – you guessed it – shrink the audience.
The genius of the attraction was the way that it broke the fourth wall. At one point, a copier went nuts, causing the audience to believe that hundreds of mice were running across their feet. Later, a baby grabbed and shook the shrunken audience. At the end, a sneeze led fluids spraying on everyone.
In many ways, Honey, I Shrunk the Audience! was a precursor and kindred spirit to It’s Tough to Be a Bug! Once park planners opened that show at Disney’s Animal Kingdom, Epcot’s version became a bit redundant. It’s a shame because this attraction was the funniest one in the park for many years.
Cranium Command
The #SaveBuzzy hashtag swept across Disney social media sites at the end of 2018. Mouse followers were desperate to know what happened to one of their favorite AA hosts. We now know his fate. Back in the day, Body Wars was the milkshake that brought all the boys and girls to the Wonders of Life pavilion’s yard. They stayed for Cranium Command, though.
The other Wonders of Life attraction was a show that celebrated the human brain. You may not have noticed, but several of Epcot’s infotainment attractions shared various connections. At Wonders of Life, the power of the brain saved the day at Body Wars. It provided the basis for Cranium Command, too.
This silly but endearing presentation was hosted by Buzzy, a member of the Cranium Commandos. His superior, General Knowledge, demanded that the little guy in the bomber jacket keep a 12-year-old boy out of trouble. Buzzy “piloted” the brain to avoid danger.
The presentation involved several parts of the body such as the stomach, the adrenal gland, and the left and right portions of the brain. In a way, it was Disney’s first take on the concepts we later watched in Inside Out. Buzzy helped a boy get through an ordinary day, part of which involved an interaction with a member of the opposite sex. It was a tender take on adolescence that simultaneously displayed the perils of parenthood.
For this reason, it satisfied viewers across generations, which explains why everyone so dialed up at the thought of a robber stealing Buzzy. That AA embodied everything that we remember that was good and pure about Epcot of a generation ago.
